Page 9 of Unforgettable Player

He thanks Scout for the coffee, no longer looking at her, either.

I watch him wander back down the hallway toward the study. When I glance back at Scout, she gives me a sad smile.

“It’s something,” she says, her voice soft.

I nod, ignoring how tight my throat feels and willing myself not to cry.

Scout’s up in another second, washing the dishes before I can get myself together enough to help.

It isn’t until I’m in the car and Scout is pulling away from the house that the guilt really settles in.

“What’s with the face? Did you forget something?”

I shake my head.

“Eli?”

“I shouldn’t leave my dad alone,” I mumble.

Scout’s quiet for a moment. When I look at her, she’s tensing her jaw, like she’s holding back from saying something I won’t like. “You shouldn’t feel bad about leaving him.”

“He’s my dad. It’s my responsibility to take care of him.”

“Exactly, he’s your dad. He’s the one who should be taking care of you, no matter how old you get.”

I swallow. “It’s what my mom would have wanted.”

“Your mom wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone in the house while your dad ignores you.” She gets a wistful look in her eyes and I kick myself for forgetting how much Scout probably misses her, too.

I feel her watching me in the reflection of the mirror, but I keep my face turned away and start picking at the vinyl sealant around the window.

“Your mom would kick his ass for moping like this and not paying attention to you. You know what she was like. She didn’t let him get away with hiding himself in his study.”

“But she was his wife. It’s different. I’m supposed to respect and take care of my dad. My mom took two years out of her degree to go back to Japan and nurse her father when he was dying, and they didn’t even get along. It’s what our culture expects. You don’t understand.”

Scout sighs. “Eli, your dad isn’t dying.”

“He’s depressed.”

“Yes, and you’ve done everything for him. If he won’t help himself, there’s nothing more you can do. He wouldn’t want to you take time out of your education to take care of him, and neither would your mom.”

I pick at the vinyl too much and a bit flakes off under my fingernail. “But while I’m home …”

“When you stayed with him before, did it make a difference? Did he come out of his study? Did he eat? No. You stayed there by yourself and he ignored you and you studied until you went to bed. Did he ever⁠—”

While she talks, I feel the lump in my throat getting bigger until I’m scared it’ll choke me. I can’t stand her reminding me of how powerless I am to help him.

“Stop,” I choke out. The threat of tears evident in my voice.

She bites her lip. “Sorry, Eli. I just⁠—”

“I know.” I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe my eyes, turning my face away to look out of the window.

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. “I just can’t stand seeing you beat yourself up when you’ve done nothing wrong.”

I suck in a deep breath and force my face into a smile. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.”

I turn up the stereo, watching the trees on the coast road pass by in a blur while Scout drives us to her house in silence.