Page 14 of But For You

“I thought you were in the jungle.”

“I was everywhere, J.”

“I see.”

He pulled over, put the SUV in park, hit the hazards, and turned to face me. Not that I saw him, but I could hear the leather seat creak.

“We should get home, Sam.”

“Look at me.”

I rolled my head sideways.

He reached out and took hold of my chin; his fingers slid over my skin, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. “Our home, yours and mine, that’s my sanctuary. What I had with Kevin … I mean, I was in the middle of a big fuckin’ mess in a foreign country, and I was tired and lonely, but still, it’s no excuse for what I did.”

“What did you do?”

“For just a minute—just, like, a second—I stopped thinking.”

I didn’t understand. “Sam?”

He brought his left hand up to join the right, framing my face, smoothing his thumbs over my cheekbones. “I used him, and I felt like shit for doing it. I was such a dick to him. I fucked him, I ate his food, I slept in his bed, and I treated him like a whore.”

I leaned out of his hands, and he let them drop away.

“That was how it went, and then when I realized what I was doing, I tried to apologize to him and end it, and⁠—”

“He didn’t want to,” I cut him off.

“No.” His voice rumbled out of his chest. “He didn’t.”

“Because what you thought was bad was his wet dream.”

“I wouldn’t go⁠—”

“He liked you in pieces that he got to put back together. He liked being the guy who submitted to you, liked being the one you held down and ordered around. He wanted you to stay in his bed.”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat.

“And?”

“And what?”

“I want to hear the end, Sam.”

“And I want you in my lap.”

It took me a second because he had changed topics so quickly.

“What?”

“If I’m baring my soul any more, I want you in my lap.”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t do⁠—”

“Fine, it ended,” he said and turned to grab hold of his seat belt.

I opened my door.