Page 75 of Pucked Around and Found Out

I've tried to deny it.

Tried to act like I don't see or notice the way Carnage looks at me, the softness in his eyes, the tenderness in his touch, the way he says my name like it's something precious.

The truth is, I've seen it all and chose to ignore it because it was easier for me.

Because acknowledging it would mean dealing with it.

And I didn't want to deal with it.

I hurt him tonight.

The realization crashes over me with sickening clarity. I left him alone in that apartment while I fucked Xaden. He's injured and was outnumbered by Xaden's men. And I just... abandoned him.

I should have fought Xaden. Should have resisted. Should have protected Carnage the way he's always protected me.

Instead, I gave in.

Like the weak, selfish coward I am.

“Sit down, Toren.”

Alex's voice is laced with barely controlled outrage, and I don't blame him. Not even a little.

I walk across the room toward the dining table, my legs feeling like they might give out at any moment. But before I can make it there, Tate suddenly appears in front of me like an avenging angel.

I jerk to a stop just in time to avoid colliding with her.

Vivian and Nova are imploring their friend to leave me alone, to not get involved, but I can see from the look in Tate's blazing blue eyes that she isn't backing down.

And neither am I.

“Halo number 2 may not be my favorite out of the guys, but he is my fucking family!” she shouts, her words hitting me like a freight train. “You came to us. Begged for help. And we gave it. You hurt one of mine, and I don't fucking take kindly to that shit, Toren.”

Each word is a lash against my already raw conscience.

“I never meant to hurt him,” I snap back, my voice breaking despite my attempt to sound strong.

“You may not have meant to, but you did!” Her voice rises, sharp and cutting. “You allowed Carnage to fall for you and now we can’t find him!”

Her blue eyes are ablaze with protective fury, and I feel my own anger cresting in response.

“I didn't allow shit!” I scream, and a hush falls over the room like a blanket.

I know I'm the odd man out in this house. Without Carnage standing beside me, I'm completely alone. Outnumbered. Vulnerable.

But I'm not backing down.

“I never meant to hurt anyone!” My voice cracks with emotion. “I didn't want any of this shit! I'm sorry I hurt him, I truly am, but I never lied about my feelings for Xaden.”

The admission hangs in the air like a confession at trial.

“Did you ever tell him there was never a chance for him?” Tate fires back, her voice like a whip.

My shoulders slump as the fight drains out of me.

“I didn't think I had to,” I admit quietly, the words tasting like ash.

She scoffs and shakes her head, disgust written all over her face. “I may not have been with you the entire time, but Omen told me that Carnage was there for you on nights when you couldn't sleep and cried yourself sick. When you were throwing up, he held your hair back after you told them the truth about being pregnant. He's a good man, Toren. And you had no fucking right to hurt him the way you did⁠—”