Page 5 of Pucked Around and Found Out

It’s his religion.

He crouches in front of me and secures each of my ankles to the chair legs with cable ties, the plastic biting into my skin. When Xaden stands to his full height and looks down at me, his expression is completely unreadable, but the cold emptiness in his eyes destroys me more than any physical blow.

It’s too much.

I can’t hold his gaze.

I’m the first to break, dropping my gaze to the floor because I can handle him hurting me, can handle him wanting me dead but I can’t survive that blank, frozen void where warmth used to live.

He grips my chin in a painful hold and forces my focus back to him. “Look away or try and close your eyes, I will make it worse for them. You’ll watch everything, Tink.” His voice is granite and razors. Panic unfurls inside me but I snuff it out, I can’t break down.

He releases me and moves to stand in front of Masen, every muscle in my body tenses.

I shouldn’t care. I shouldn't feel this crushing weight in my chest for the fate he is about to face. He’s a monster. A killer who destroyed four lives and let me take the fall.

But he’s still my brother.

And watching him die is going to shatter whatever’s left of my soul. I know that’s exactly what Xaden wants.

He wants me broken. Destroyed. Dead inside before he finally grants me the mercy of my own end.

Xaden removes the gag from Masen, methodically moving to do the same to my father and Meekan. All three of them sit there with that infuriating air of superiority still clinging to them, glaring at Xaden and his men like they are somehow beneath them irritates me.

It makes my stomach turn.

When did Masen change?

Was he always this person and I just refused to see it?

Did I love him so blindly that I missed all the warning signs until it was too late?

“You will regret this⁠—”

Xaden whirls around to face Masen, cutting him off with a look so cold, so utterly devoid of humanity, that it promises no mercy whatsoever.

“You’ll regret crawling out of your mother’s fucking snatch by the time I’m done with you.” The words drip with the promise of agony.

I see Xaden now, I really see him for who he has been trying to tell me he is. It’s terrifying to see it with my own eyes. I’ve allowed this man to corrupt my body and turn my own heart against me and I can’t even hate him for it. He warned me about who he is but I ignored it. I chose to see something redeemable beneath the darkness.

“I’m a fucking federal agent, Devlin. Touch me and I will make sure you spend the rest of your miserable life rotting behind bars.” Xaden lazily pivots back to face Meekan, the smile on his face has my breath hitching and my heart rate skyrocketing.

He had that same look in his eyes when he killed Kellan.

“You aren’t shit,” Xaden hisses. “Cas, bring me my tools, Andrade, Flint, Benson, hold those other three. I want them to watch everything so they know what’s coming.” Meekan tries to act unaffected and keeps his chin raised. Men grip my father and brother’s heads from behind and hold them so they are facing Meekan. Before the other asshole can get to me and touch me, I turn and face Meek. I will watch everything he does, not because I’m a masochist but because I need to.

I have to prove to him, even if it’s the last thing I do, that I’m the enemy he underestimated. I’m the one he counted out and thought was weak. I’m none of those things. I may have lost the fucking battle and the war, but I’ll go out like a Samurai warrior with my respect and honor still intact. I’ll look death in the eyes as he comes for me. I’ll not beg. I’ll not plead. I’ll face my end like a warrior born in the ashes of her past that shaped her into this villainous version of herself.

Cas wheels over a cart laden with surgical instruments: knives, hammers, pliers, saws, and countless other tools I can't let myself think about. Every single one is stained with dried blood, rust-colored evidence of previous victims.

My stomach lurches violently. I swallow again and again, forcing down the bile rising in my throat. I won't give him that satisfaction.

Won't let him see me break.

Meekan thrashes against his restraints. When Xaden picks up the hammer, he spews threats and promises of retribution, but they fall on deaf ears. Cas moves to stand behind Meek without needing to be told. They move like a choreographed symphony, it’s like they have done this so many times it’s now all muscle memory.

Caspian covers Meekan’s mouth with his hand to silence him, which only pisses Special Agent Di-Leo off more. I should feel pity or try to help my best friend's brother, but I don’t. He did this to himself. He allowed not only his sister's killer to go free, but a man who murdered three other people that night. Masen may not have meant to take the lives of four innocent people, but he did and he tried to cover it all up so he could play hockey.

He left me to take the fall for him and allowed everyone to believe it was me.