Page 7 of The Need to Know

“I mean, he hasn’t been around you in almost a year, but he knows you’re single.”

I was single, but I wasn’t waiting for Corey. “So?”

“See, this is why you should post more on your socials,” Paisley chastised me as she so often did. “If you were online, socially active, then Corey could see you’re doing fine without him.”

“So, I should live my life to make other people have an idea of me?” I questioned.

“You should live your life period, Nas,” Paisley shot back. “You need to get out there and just do you, because he’s damn sure doing him. I love you to death, but girl, the ship has sailed, crashed, got stuck in the damn mud at the bottom of the sea, and is never going to rise again. Let that shit go.”

The problem with social media was the too tempting lure to overshare.

Really, after my second breakup with Corey, I realized it was all useless. It was all just a battle of who could make the most superficial post first. A war of who could accumulate the most likes and retweets. After swearing off Twitter and all its bullshit, Facebook and its archaic vibe, there was Instagram, where I didn’t post much and I didn’t follow many either. I kinda had this belief system that people who were actually happy and living their lives, weren’t spending every five minutes updating their feeds. When Beyoncé went on vacation, she just went—of course, we all couldn’t be Bey, but that was beyond the point.

I wasn’t really living my life, and so there was nothing to share. I mean, how many times could I post a photo of my cat before someone clicked the unfollow button?

Besides, I would not be ruled by validation from online users I’d never meet in real life.

One thing was certain: I was dealing, if barely.

For so long I’d been doing fine, and here was Corey and his damn flowers, popping up and soiling my Monday.

“How’s Scorsese?” Paisley asked, bringing up my three-year-old cat and letting my ex go.

Whoever said cats were assholes lied. I’d never wanted a cat, especially not after growing up with dogs. But one fateful afternoon I discovered a nest of kittens near the side of my house. I left them alone, thinking their mom was nearby, but that evening it stormed hard and bad, and my gut feeling was to check on them.

Of the three tiny guys, only one lone black kitten remained, shivering in the ditch by the side of the house. They said black cats equaled bad luck, and it was just his misfortune his siblings and mother abandoned him on that rainy night. Needless to say, I took him in with the intention of finding a shelter—of course it never happened. That day he became Scorsese Graham, my little bundle of joy.

I perked up just a little. “The usual: spoiled, clingy, and loved.”

“One of these days I’m going to go over there and he’s going to love on me instead of keeping his distance.”

“Hate to break it to you, but I’m the only woman he needs in his life.”

Paisley rolled her eyes. “Okay, Catwoman.”

I wrinkled my nose at the moniker. It was one cat I had a motherly bond with. “I’m all he really knows since I live alone. He never even liked Corey.”

Paisley smirked. “Cats usually have a sixth sense for assholes.”

Ah. The queen of quips won again. “I walked right into that one.”

“Some may say you skipped.” She smiled as she sifted through our mail. We were in our third quarter of the year. Our numbers were good, and we would be fine. Shéc was almost a safe success.

“How’s Alannah doing?” Paisley asked me next as she read over some glossy flyer.

Just like that, that black cloud slid right back over my head at the mention of my younger sister’s name. Alannah was making our parents proud as she excelled in med school, well on the path to becoming our family’s first physician. In our parents’ eyes, I dropped the ball and was a huge disappointment. Alannah chased her dreams, and I chased boys. Look at me now, Ma, didn’t turn out so well. You were right!

“Perfect,” I said softly as I plucked a stray piece of thread from my cargo bottoms.

Paisley set the mail aside and peered out the front windows, eyeing the sunny day just beginning before us. “We should go out soon. Get some Thai, get some beer, get some men. And not in that order.”

Thai food and beer sounded heavenly. The rest? Not so much.

“Pay,” I sighed.

She groaned. “You are a buzzkill.”

I ran a hand down my face, trying and failing to wipe away my frown. God, why was I so jaded?