Page 116 of The Need to Know

But God, this felt good.

Ezekiel held my face, rubbing circles along my jaw with his thumb before he leaned down and kissed me.

The violent interruption of my phone ringing stirred up the ugliest look on my face as I rolled my eyes. Ezekiel laughed as I turned over and grabbed my phone off my nightstand.

Alannah’s name and number flashed across my screen and I sat up. It was August, school was back in session for Harvard Med, and we hadn’t spoken since our last phone call.

I needed to be a better sister.

So, I picked up and put a smile on my face. “Hey.”

“Hey!” The cheer in Alannah’s voice made me feel terrible for how there was space wedged between us. “You got a minute?”

I looked back at Ezekiel, who was now leaning over his side of the bed reaching out for Scorsese. “Of course.”

“So, I meant to come down there this summer, but things got busy and I didn’t make it,” Alannah started off. I could tell she was speaking with her hands as she seemed to ramble. “School is back and I’m already over it, believe it or not.”

“You’re almost done, Ali, you got this,” I encouraged.

“Thanks, and I know, I’m so close. But it would really cleanse my palate if I came down there for the weekend,” Alannah went on. “I miss you guys.”

My back stiffened and I stilled, knowing where this was going and waiting for her to drop the bomb. “I miss you, too.”

“I mean, I was thinking of just doing that. Coming down there this weekend and introducing Mom and Dad to Oisin. I need to finally come clean about that. I’ve met his folks and family.”

I balled up my fist. “Uh-huh.”

“Nas,” she begged gently. “Can you please do me this favor and come over for dinner with me and O?”

I stood up, pushing a hand through my hair and sighing. “Ali…”

“I know things are rough for you, but I just need you there,” she seemed to plead.

“No, you don’t.”

“I’m scared.” Her voice was soft, and right then I hated her again, for putting me on the spot, for making me feel even worse about myself and our relationship.

I was the big sister. It was my job to look out for Ali, to protect her and make her feel safe. This was her first serious relationship, and she was nervous to do this alone.

“Let me think about it, okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, no pressure. I’m coming regardless, but it would mean a lot if you could be there to buffer. It’s not like Oisin’s a bad guy, but you know how picky Mom and Dad can be.”

“I do.”

“Hey, maybe you can bring someone?” Alannah tried to say.

Bad idea. “Not likely.”

“Okay,” she tried to return to her original cheery voice, but it wouldn’t take. “Let me know whatever you decide.”

“I will, I promise.” We hung up and my hand fell heavily to my side. Alannah never asked me for anything, and in return, I distanced myself from her and forged a bond with Paisley instead. It wasn’t Alannah’s fault I didn’t measure up to her in our parents’ eyes. It wasn’t fair to take it out on her either.

I was happy and ecstatic about my new relationship, but one step back home and I feared that energy would taint it.

“You good?” Ezekiel had moved from his side of the bed, to sitting on the foot, watching me.

“That was my sister,” I said as I faced him. “She’s coming down for the weekend and she wants me to have dinner with our parents while she introduces her boyfriend. This is like a big deal because she’s never really had a boyfriend and she’s nervous.”