Page 5 of Our Bodies, Our Choice

“And also, I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me!?” I’m speaking faster than the words are forming in my brain. “Is it because you don’t want me around anymore?”

“Sky…”

“Is it because all you think I’m good for is hacking?”

“Jesus Christ.” Nora rolls her eyes, and it’s warranted because I know I’m being ridiculous right now.

“Is it because you think I’ll fuck something up and get us all killed?”

“What? No! Fuck… No, it’s not that, it’s—”

“Then what!?” I shout. “What is so fucking private that you can’t tell me and let me be part of—”

“Because I love you!”

My lips part, as though I’m going to speak, but no words can form right now after this admission. I must have it wrong. A friend, she loves me as a friend.

“Fuck!” she bellows, causing me to jump. But not in fear. More so because she has never once raised her voice at me in the decade we have been friends. “Don’t you ever say that shit to me again. Do you hear me! Ever! Jesus fucking Christ, Sky, I don’t want you there because I fucking love you!” Nora slaps the back of her hand into her other palm frustratingly. “It’s not because you’re weak, or stupid, or whatever fucked up shit you have running through that incredible mind of yours. It’s because I care for you so fucking much that I can’t bring myself to put you in a situation where you might get hurt.”

Turning from me, she leaves me standing there with my mouth agape, moving to sit on the edge of my computer desk. Nora’s fingers curve around the edge of the wooden desk so tightly that her knuckles turn white.

“If something happened to you, if you got hurt, if one of those fuckers touched you… I would never forgive myself. Let alone live with it.” Looking at me she continues, “It fucking eats at me.” She pokes herself in the chest, her face contorting with hurt. “It drives me insane. Constantly wishing I didn’t feel the way I did about you, that I could just… stop thinking about you every second of every day, but I can’t. So forgive me if I want to keep the woman I love safe from the grimy hands of rapists and fucking murderers!” Taking a deep breath, she continues speaking, as though she’s finally able to release all the pent-up emotions inside her after however long. “If you truly believe all those things you said before, then you really don’t know me at all.”

Nora drops her head forward in defeat, the silence between us now thick with tension. I’m utterly taken aback by everything. That was the last thing I thought she would ever say or admit. After a few long, agonizing seconds that feel like an eternity, I push myself off the door and slowly begin walking to where she sits. The connection of my clumpy boots play out as the only sound in the room, as I slowly close the space between us. Stopping between her legs, I take both my hands and raise them, cupping her face to lift it so she will look at me, and the moment I do, I can see all the pain in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I breathe. “I don’t believe what I said and I didn’t mean it. Not even for a second. I shouldn’t have said it. Forgive me.” Leaning in, I angle my face towards her and gently press my lips against hers.

Nora moves her head to the side and sighs. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“… Kiss me. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

I pull her face back, bringing her attention to me once more. “When have I ever done anything because I have to?”

Silence.

“Exactly,” I murmur. “So, please just… let me kiss you before I lose all my confidence and go bury myself somewhere from embarrassment, and—” I’m cut off.

No words are able to be formed because the woman I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember, is kissing me. With her soft mouth pressed against mine, I can’t halt the low whimper that descends from my throat. She runs the tip of her tongue against the seam of my mouth, as though begging for entry, and I happily oblige. And the very second I do, she eases it inside. Tenderly sliding her tongue against mine in a deep, meaningful kiss.

My skin ignites with gooseflesh, running from the bottom of my spine, all the way up into my hairline. Feeling as though this is the first kiss I’ve ever experienced, a kiss so perfect that none previous can compare. I underestimated my imagination greatly, because this is unlike anything I expected from her.

Nora’s hands grip my waist, fingers squeezing tightly at the skin, and in reaction I wrap my arms tightly around her neck, bringing myself flush with her body, silently demanding more from her.

“Please,” I beg her.

Her plea of need makes every single hair on my arms stand on end. It’s soft, and so fucking sweet that my body reacts to it instantly. Craving even more of it.

I lower my hand over her full ass, gripping each cheek in my hands before I lift her up from just under the thighs. With her knees resting on the edge of her computer desk, I bring her closer to me. Holding her in place with one hand on her lower back—the space between her legs pressed flush against my groin. Devouring her mouth all while I touch her.

I’ve wanted this with her, and never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d get my wish. Her body reacts to mine so perfectly. The delicate whimpers she keeps releasing with every roll of my tongue over hers are nothing like I had in my mind, they’re a million times better.

“Fuck, Sky,” I breathe against her mouth. And the moment those words leave my lips, I feel the lower half of her body grind against mine. But before I get a chance to feel it again, she freezes, and in that moment, I pull my lips back. “What’s wrong?” I ask, brushing the strands of bubble-gum coloured hair from her face.

“I… I just realised I don’t really know… uh, what I’m doing here.”

Releasing a light chuckle, I brush my lips over her jawline, peppering subtle kisses as I go. “You don’t have to be an expert at this,” I mumble against her creamy skin. I mean… it’s not rocket science, just do what feels good for you. What’s comfortable.”