Page 72 of I’m Already Gone

I try to speak, but my throat is dry like the desert. All I can manage is a shake of my head. Though I realized that the gesture might have unintentionally sparked concern. Seconds later, I hear the frantic scrabble of her shoes on the polished floor as she rushes down the hall toward Lily’s room.

Marcus eases me up, his grip firm on my bicep. “Let’s get some coffee, man.”

I nod like a puppet with broken strings. The journey to the cafeteria is a blur.

After placing our order, he leads me to a table tucked away in a corner.

I lower myself onto the hard plastic chair and look out the window. It’s raining. A steady, insistent drumming falls against the glass, a gray veil descending over the city. We’ve had days of relentless sunshine. The weather, at least, has the decency to align with the raw, throbbing ache in my soul. I watch a single raindrop trace a winding path down the pane. My fingers twitch to reach out and wipe it away, just like I used to wipe away Lily’s tears so easily.

My chest tightens. “She has cancer,” I rasp. The words have a dry, bitter taste on my tongue.

I feel it: the stiffening in Marcus’s broad shoulders, the way his jaw clenches, a muscle ticking beneath his skin. Marcus stares, his brown eyes clouded with a pain that mirrors my own.

My hands wrap around the warm ceramic mug. “Did you know? Did Ebony know?” I demand, my eyes boring into him.

If he knew about this, about Lily having cancer, and never told me… I wouldn’t forgive it.

His immediate, firm “No. Absolutely not,” is a sudden release, a gasp of air I hadn’t realized I was holding. The tension in my chest begins to unwind.

“Even if Ebony had known,” he adds, his voice softer, “she wouldn’t have said anything to me. She values her friendship with Lily above all else.”

I lean back, the plastic chair digging into my spine, allowing the pain to burn through every aching fiber of my heart. My hand, trembling, rises to my chest, pressing against the burning ache. “How can I fix this for her, Marcus? How can I make it better for her?” I plead.

He leans forward, his gaze unwavering, a fierce determination hardening his features. “You be present, Ethan. For her. For your kids. You love her fiercely. And you fucking stay.”

I nod, letting his words sink in, each one hitting me with the force of truth. A heavy silence hangs in the air, pressing down on my chest. Finally, I force myself to speak, knowing the next revelation will be even harder to face.

“It’s stage three cancer.”

Marcus squeezes his eyes shut. He shakes his head slowly. His eyes finally open, full of despair. “I’m so sorry, man. Wave your white flag,” he says, his voice barely a whisper but filled with an undeniable force. “Surrender yourself to her. To your children. It’s time to be strong. It’s time to be the man you were before.”

I know exactly what he’s telling me.

It is time to give my queen, my Lily, the entire world.

A promise. One I will never, ever regret. And one I will fulfill until my last breath.

Ethan

“Mom. Dad.” I step aside to let them enter my penthouse. “What brings you by?” I ask as I secure the door behind them.

“We heard about Lily,” Mom replies.

I run a hand through my damp hair and head for the kitchen island. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Ethan,” Mom whispers, a delicate warning.

I ignore her, my eyes locked on the polished stainless-steel refrigerator. “I have sparkling water, Mom. With lemon. I know how much you enjoy a slice of fruit in your drinks.”

“Ethan.” This time, her tone carries more weight, yet is still tinged with sorrow. “And Dad,” I insist, moving toward the built-in bar. “Would you like something strong to drink?”

I sure as hell could.

“Son.” My father says in a low command.

I freeze, placing my hands on the cool, sleek marble of the bar. My knuckles turn pale as I grip the edge, every fiber of my body tightening. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to sweep the bottles and glasses off the counter, to shatter the fragile illusion of control I am desperately clinging to. Because the volatile storm of emotions inside me is threatening to overwhelm me.

The last few days have been a blur, from getting things sorted at work to rushing back to the hospital, to Lily, to the kids. I only came back to the penthouse for a quick shower and a change of clothes. The longer I’m forced to stay away from Lily, the more frayed and on edge I become. We have already lost too much time. I can’t afford to lose any more.