Page 42 of I’m Already Gone

“But you have a team of people who love you and will help you battle every single fight. There are going to be days you want to quit, days you want to curl up and disappear, but we are going to be there, helping you not give up. For now, focus on the small steps, not the victory. Save your willpower to get through the treatments. Everything else will fall into place.”

“I’m with you, no matter what,” she adds, her eyes glistening with tears. “I’ll stand by you through this.”

Ebony pulls me back into another hug, tighter this time. “Fuck cancer,” she mutters.

A watery laugh slips from my lips, finding a shred of relief in her strength.

She lets me go, then walks over to the radio. She spends a few moments fiddling with the dial, searching until “Stronger” by Britney Spears blares through the speakers.

She spins around, a wide, determined smile on her face that screams, “I’ve got you.”

A burst of laughter erupts out of me as she yanks me to my feet, and we belt out the chorus off-key, just like when we were teenagers. And for a moment, the fear is silenced, and everything feels a little brighter.

I sit in the recliner, my favorite fleece blanket draped over my legs, my fingers nervously twisting the fabric.

“This room is beautiful,” Sam says from where she sits beside me as she glances around the room.

“It is,” I agree.

Natural light streaming through the windows floods the open space. The walls are painted in beautiful three-dimensional murals of flowers. Each individual chemo station has a huge leather recliner and a small side table with separate lighting. Two nurses sit behind the curved desk in the middle of the room so they can see every patient.

“Are you sure you can stay the night?” I ask her

“Of course. I’m not leaving you alone in this, Lily.”

A nurse steps out from behind the desk and approaches. “Hi, Lily. My name is Sandra, and I’ll be taking care of you today. Are you ready to get started?”

I nod, my heart racing. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Great. Just relax. I’ll get everything set up, and we’ll keep an eye on you throughout the treatment,” Sandra says in a soothing voice as she begins preparing the IV.

As the nurse works, Sam squeezes my hand tighter. “You got this. Just breathe.”

“Breathe,” I echo and follow her advice.

The nurse finishes setting up the IV and turns to me. “Just a little pinch now.”

I brace myself as the needle pierces my skin.

“You’re all set, Lily,” the nurse says. “I’ll be back shortly to check your vitals and make sure you're handling the medications well. Is there anything you need before I go?” Her gaze shifts between Sam and me.

Both of us shake our heads. With a nod, she turns back to her desk.

Tears slip down my cheeks. “I love you, Sam. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I love you too, sis,” Sam replies, her voice trembling.

As the chemo drug begins to flow through the IV, I take a deep breath, my sister’s hand warm in mine. The battle ahead will be tough, but as long as we are together, I can face anything.

“One step at a time,” Sam murmurs, her arm steady around my waist.

My head throbs, and a wave of nausea churns in the pit of my stomach.

We shuffle the few feet to the front door, and Sam fumbles with the key until the lock finally clicks open.

“You sure you want to tackle those stairs, or do you want to crash in the guest room tonight?” Sam asks as we step into the foyer.

“No, I can make it up to my room,” I insist.