Page 26 of I’m Already Gone

“We had months, Ethan. Months to get it right. But the same patterns kept repeating, and now we’re just two strangers living under the same roof. This isn’t healthy for the kids or for us.”

“What are you saying?” Grief’s icy fingers wrapped around my throat, squeezing tighter with every heartbeat. I was about to lose her, lose everything.

“I think we should get d⁠—”

“Don’t,” I growled desperately, stepping closer, my chest tight. “Do not say the word divorce.”

“You cheated on me! You shattered my trust, Ethan. You broke your vows to promise to love me faithfully,” she said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Lily, I never meant for any of this to happen. It was a colossal mistake, one I can’t undo, but it’s something we can still work through together.”

She shook her head. “If the roles were reversed, if another man touched me, kissed me, how would you feel?”

My jaw tightened so forcefully I thought I might crack a tooth. The thought of another man touching her sent a searing pain through my entire body, like acid burning beneath my skin.

“Exactly,” she said firmly.

“I wouldn’t walk away, Lily. And I’m ready to fight for us now. I’ll even go to couples’ therapy. I’ll rearrange my work schedule, work from home, whatever it takes,” I pleaded, my voice breaking as I reached for her hands. Relief flooded me when she didn’t pull away.

“I’ll do anything to make this work. Anything. Please, don’t give up on us. Don’t leave me. Let me prove myself to you.”

Her silence sliced through me, a slow torment. I grazed her wrists with my thumbs, feeling the frantic beat of her pulse. When I locked eyes with her, I could see the battle waging within her. Part of her wanted to fight for us, while the other part seemed set on walking away. But separation and divorce weren’t options. We had been through too much to throw it all away. I couldn’t allow that to happen.

She didn’t say anything but removed her hands from mine.

This whole screwed-up situation was a harsh wake-up call. It made me realize how little effort I put into fighting for her. For us. For my family. The thought of Lily not being by my side was crippling. Losing her would feel like losing a limb. Without her, I wouldn’t be able to function. A vital part of me would fade, my soul would plunge into darkness, and my heart would feel forever hollow.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, I said her name. “Lily?”

Without sparing me a final glance, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and walked out of the room.

I stood there, frozen, as though my very soul was being stripped away while I watched the love of my life walk away from me.

Lily

“Idon’t know what to say,” Sam whispered as she slumped into the chair across the small, round table. Her face was pale, mirroring the sickening disbelief that still clawed at me.

I’d fled the house as if it were on fire, heading straight to this hotel and booking a room. I sent a 911 text to Ebony and Sam. I couldn’t be alone, not with this gaping wound in my chest, but the thought of being under the same roof as him was unbearable.

They hugged me tight, letting me sob until my throat was raw and my body trembled with exhaustion. And then their own tears began to fall.

“He was drunk,” I rasped, the words thick and bitter on my tongue.

Ebony set a steaming mug of tea on the table in front of me. “Being drunk isn’t an excuse for touching and kissing another woman.” She sank onto the chair beside me, tossing her long black faux locs over her shoulder.

“I still can’t believe he would do this to you. He loves you, Lily,” Sam insisted.

I let out a ragged sigh, blowing a shaky breath across the tea’s surface, before I took a sip. “I never thought he would do this to me.” My voice splintered on the last word.

When I thought about Ethan, the love of my life, being with her, I felt a real physical pain. The ache was impossible to explain.

Was reconciliation the answer for us? Or should I get a divorce? What about the kids? Our parents? How could I ever look at him again, knowing his lips, his hands, were on another woman’s body? How could I forgive that?

The phone vibrated against the table, announcing new messages and unread notifications from Ethan. My eyes, already burning, welled up instantly, tears spilling down my cheeks. Each drop felt like another shard of my heart breaking.

Ethan

I’m so fucking sorry, Lily.