Page 202 of That Rush

“I do understand. It’s you I want. And Josie. Breakfast here, nights at my cabin, even your terrible opinions about the men in my books.” My throat burns. “I want more. I just don’t know yet if more means one house, marriage, or our whole lives centered together.”

Aiden says nothing. He braces himself against the couch, the lamp catching the tendons in his hands.

“If I promise those things tonight, I’ll be saying yes because I’m terrified you’ll leave if I don’t. I won’t make that promise to keep you.”

“I can’t keep building alone.”

“You weren’t supposed to build alone.”

“Then tell me what to build with you.”

“I am.” My voice breaks. “You keep hearing maybe as no.”

“And you keep asking me to build on maybe.”

Silence settles between us.

His voice is hollow. “Maybe we want different lives.”

The words knock the air from my lungs.

“Maybe we do.”

He flinches.

I could take it back. I could promise to move in and marry him and let relief carry us past the truth. By morning, I would know I said yes because I panicked.

Aiden releases the couch. His hand lifts halfway toward me, then closes at his side.

“Then I think we need to stop.”

A tremor runs through me, sharp and deep. I press my fingertips into my palms, letting the pain become an anchor.

I force the words out. “If that’s what you need.”

He stares at me. “Is it that easy?”

The question hangs between us.

“No.”

“You look pretty fucking certain.”

“I’m trying to respect your decision.”

A muscle jumps in his jaw as he turns from me. “You always know how to walk away.”

The pain beneath the words almost sends me back across the room.

My voice is steady. “I won’t ask you to accept less than the future you want.” “I also won’t promise it because I’m afraid to lose you.”

Aiden nods once, a short, sharp movement. The last of the hope drains from his eyes, leaving them flat and empty. I’ve confirmed it.

I cross to the entryway and step into the shoes I left beside the door. My fingers fumble once at the heel. I pull myself upright, hoping he can't see.

Aiden follows. His hand closes around the knob. He looks at me, and I think he might stop me.

Instead, he opens the door.