Page 19 of The Baker and the Kraken

Adam hunched lower. “Yeah.”

They talked for a while longer, and Adam realized how much he’d let the past influence what had happened with Calder, and how he’d judged the man based on things that had nothing to do with him. He felt worse and worse the more they talked.

Eventually, Simon patted his shoulder, saying, “We can fix this.”

Could they? Calder had been nothing but accepting of everything about Adam, and Adam had failed at the first test.

Chapter Six

Calder

Calder had known intellectually that not telling Adam about being a shifter was a risk. Waiting until they knew one another better had seemed like a good idea… except when did they know one another enough?

So he’d kept delaying, and now he was living the consequences of that. He sighed internally and kept pushing water out through his siphon, powering through the ocean. It was soothing traveling in his natural form: the pressure and movement of the water against his body, all his arms and tentacles free. He was swimming deep enough that everything was dim and cozy, wrapping around him endlessly. Life was a lot simpler in the ocean. Especially if you were at the top of the food chain.

His mind was always his mind, but he could allow his animal instincts to take the forefront a little more in this form. As much as he brought his angst with him, being deep in the ocean did make his human problems feel a little more remote.

But he was still dwelling on them.

This wasn’t, at all, the result he’d wanted, but he’d do it again in a heartbeat to keep Adam safe. When he’d grabbed Adam, it had been pure instinct.

Absently, he reached out with his tentacles to grab multiple fish, his arms guiding them to his mouth even as he searched for more. He needed to eat a lot in this form.

Maybe his rescue had been necessary as well as life-saving. Would Calder ever have gotten up the courage to say anything, or would his lie have been compounded by more and more time? Sure, it was a lie of omission, but he didn’t suppose that made Adam feel any better about it. Calder had cherished every detail he’d learned about Adam, but he hadn’t been as forthcoming about himself.

Which was why he was now swimming around the ocean eating raw fish and feeling sorry for himself. Yes, it was possible that if he’d told Adam right away, his pretty witch—not his, he reminded himself glumly—would have refused to go out with him. But Calder didn’t know that for sure. He’d chosen not to take the risk. He’d wanted to spend time with Adam, and he’d taken the easy way out to do that—which worked great until the moment of reckoning.

Calder could envision a whole lot of wanting in his future.

He took more of his frustrations out on the ocean’s fish population (and a few crustaceans, but who was counting?), and when he finally hauled himself out of the ocean and regained his land legs, he felt… if not better, at least marginally less as though the world was the most terrible place that had ever existed.

Calder had been disappointed before. He’d made mistakes before. And while this might prove to be the worst in his entire life, he knew that he’d survive it, too, in the end. (There was almost nothing that he couldn’t survive.) It might be terrible and lonely… but he’d done that for centuries already.

Maybe he was simply a lot more foolish than the Magic had given him credit for. He’d had his chance, and he’d blown it.

Thanks to shifter magic, Calder was dressed in the clothes that he’d been wearing before he shifted, and his cellphone was in his pocket. It was inaccessible when he was shifted, but it never took any water or pressure damage, no matter how deep Calder swam.

To his surprise, there was a message from Adam.

Can I see you today? Any time after 5pm. Just come by the apartment. Please.

Calder looked up at the top of the screen. Shit. It was almost nine. That was way too late, but Adam had said any time after five. Calder realized that he was already walking in the direction of Adam’s apartment. He increased his pace.

Should Calder have texted an apology after Adam left him? He’d been so clearly upset that Calder hadn’t thought it right to bother him—and then he’d gone to drown his sorrow in the depths of the ocean, entirely out of cell range. But now Adam had texted that they should meet, and there was no tone to read in texts. How upset was he? Obviously, it wasn’t good that Calder hadn’t apologized for his mistake.

His fingers itched to send an apology now, but he was nearly at the man’s apartment, and in person would be better—if he had the chance to get the words out. Maybe Adam wanted to see him face-to-face to break up with him.

Calder’s stomach clenched at the thought.

Well, if that was the case, he had to face it, and delaying wouldn’t make it any better.

But he did at least think to send a more prosaic text.

Just saw your message. On my way if you’re still awake. No worries if you’re sleeping already. I can be available whenever you want tomorrow.

He would sleep outside Adam’s building and be ready first thing in the morning, if that was what Adam wanted.

The three dots bounced, and a response came through a moment later.