Page 61 of The Last Thing You Said

After the fire burns down, Hannah insists that she and I sleep in one tent, the boys in the other. This is a surprise to everyone, even me.

“Come on, babe,” Dustin says, his hands on her butt. He squeezes. “You’re kidding, right?”

She shakes her head and gives Dustin a playful shove. “Her parents would kill me.”

They’ll probably kill me first.

The embers hiss as Dustin pours water over them. He takes off his cowboy hat, kisses Hannah, and ducks into the tent. Simon pulls me to my feet and hugs me.

“Good night, Lucy,” he whispers into my ear. “I love you.”

He follows Dustin into the tent.

Hannah unzips the opening of our tent, holds it back for me, and follows me in.

“You want to talk about anything?” she asks. She’s curled up the edges of her purple crocheted cowboy hat. She takes it off and swats it against my arm. She smiles. Beautiful Hannah, always happy.

I nod. “But not yet. Not when they might hear us.”

I barely sleep in the heat and humidity. I toss and turn and wait for morning.

33 · Ben

Mum’s all over me in the morning. “Ben, you look terrible. What’s wrong? Are you ill?”

I don’t know. I didn’t sleep. I drove all night and sat in my car in Guthrie’s driveway until I figured it was late enough to go home.

Lucy shouldn’t be dating that guy. But it’s not like I think she should be with me, right, so I’m not really entitled to that opinion.

Except I am.

She shouldn’t be dating that guy.

Mum sets a mug of hot coffee in front of me. “Tami told me about Lucy. Did you know anything about this?”

The coffee is scorching hot, but it’s what I need. I hope it will burn, destroy everything that’s killing me from the inside right now. I shouldn’t feel like this. I pushed Lucy away a long time ago.

“Ben? Did you hear me?”

I shake my head and stand up. “I have to go. I’m supposed to be at the resort.”

“You’re off today,” Mum says. “Please stay. I want to talk to you.”

“Emily asked me to take her fishing.” I walk across the kitchen, open the screen door to the garage, and let it slam behind me.

• • •

The sun is so bright and blue, bluebird skies. A perfect, sunny summer day, but not so great for catching fish. Emily won’t know the difference. She’s thrilled that I want to take her fishing.

I drive to the resort and find Emily and Tami at the table on the deck, the umbrella shading them from the bright sun. Emily’s coloring.

“Hey, Em, you ready to go fishing?”

Emily jumps up from her chair and bounces. “Yes, yes, yes!”

“Fishing?” Tami asks.

“See? I told you Ben was going to take me fishing today!” Emily shouts.