Page 79 of The Seaside Supper Club

‘Just thinking of your waistline,’ chipped in Nikki with a grin. ‘Anyway, thanks all.’ She turned to her fellow team members adding, ‘We did it! Another successful event.’

‘Team supper club,’ said Lily. ‘Aw, I’m gonna miss you lot when I’m away at cooking school. Fingers crossed on my Food Diploma and A-level results coming soon.’ Her hopes were still pinned on Leiths.

‘Ah, you’ll do well, I’m sure. And then, you’ll be away having the best of times,’ responded Cath reassuringly.

‘And think of all the new recipes you can try out on us, when you’re back for the hols,’ Dan responded.

Lily’s smile lifted.

‘Love you all,’ said Cath, brimming with affection. Their farewells felt like a hug.

‘You too, gorgeous one.’ Dan gave a wave. And the four supper clubbers began their saunter home, with Nikki’s lads having jumped in the car with Kev.

Cath paused on the steps. After today’s frequent showers, the sun was coming back out, along with an arch of colourful rainbow brightening the sky, that made her stop in her tracks and smile.

Rainbows were a symbol of hope and of promise, of fresh starts. Cath mentally crossed her fingers. They also spread a little happiness. And that’s exactly what team supper club had done today.

Chapter 33

Cath jumped. A loud knocking pounded from the cottage door. Jeez. There was an urgency about the thudding; not your usual parcel delivery driver. Cath was shattered after her hectic day; she’d been home a mere half an hour, and had just crashed out on the sofa with a big mug of tea.

She clambered to her feet, and dashed through the hallway. ‘Okay, okay, I’m coming.’ Was there some kind of crisis? Someone hurt out on the street? An incident on the way home with the elderly in their minibus, heaven forbid?

She pulled open the door. ‘Oh.’

It was Will on her front step. He looked careworn, pale and tired.

Blimey, he must have really overdone it today, but why was he here, not resting up in bed or something? Was something else wrong? ‘Are you all right?’

‘Not really, no.’

Oh, God. Had he had some bad news? Had the results come in, and he hadn’t dared tell her? Was that why his mood seemed blacker than ever? Cath’s mind was in full spin.

‘Cath, I-I’ve done this all wrong …’

Whatever did he mean? Oh, was he breaking things off? Her heart plummeted. Whatever it was, she didn’t need to be having this sensitive conversation on her front step. ‘I think you’d better come on in.’

‘Uhm, can we rewind a bit?’ Will said. He’d reached the hallway now, and Cath was closing the cottage door.

Her pulse was racing, her emotions scattered like a gun had gone off, and she didn’t know whether to flee or face them.

He was standing still, looking so earnestly at her. ‘Cath, can we try again?’ he asked.

‘Oh, Will, what exactly are you saying?’ After all the hurt and confusion, she needed to clarify this. To be a couple with Will was everything she’d wanted, and yet, she was tired of all this toing and froing, of all this emotional pain. ‘What’s changed?’ Cath needed to know where this was coming from. If this was genuine, or if it was all just going to happen on repeat; Will letting her get close, then retreating again – until her heart felt sorer and sorer.

Will took a breath. ‘That dance today … holding you close in my arms, just confirmed all those things my heart keeps on telling me, when my mind has been warning me to step away.’ He sighed. ‘Ah, it’s so much more than that …’

Cath realised they had Reggie to thank for their dance. Their elderly friend had been instrumental in getting them together on the dance floor today. And he’d evidently been doing far more than that too, as Will began to explain. ‘I was talking to Reggie at the event, he was telling me all about his Elsie. About the wonderful times they’d had, and some of the hard times too, and how much he missed her now that she’d passed. And even though it still hurt to lose someone so close, he told me he hadn’t regretted a single second of it.’ He paused, taking a slow breath, before admitting, ‘I have lost someone already, and I’m scared, I really am, of letting love in again. I was worried I couldn’t survive another ending. Or put you through the same. But then this evening, I’m sat there thinking, what the hell am I doing? What am I waiting for? Do I want to spend the rest of my life as a lonely old man, when I have this gorgeous woman right here, or do I risk telling her … you … how I really feel?’

‘Oh, Will,’ Cath began.

‘Wait …’ Will stopped her from saying more. ‘I want you to know the truth first, all of it. Then you can decide.’

So, there was more to this. ‘Come on, let’s go through to the lounge,’ Cath calmy suggested, though inside she was anything but calm.

And taking a seat, Will went on to admit his embarrassment about the urinary difficulties he was facing, and his fear that he’d never function well sexually again. ‘All this, after the surgery, physically, it’s been awful. Peeing … I thought it might be a bit of a dribble before and after going, but oh no, it’s literally like a leaky fucking tap. That’s made life so difficult since the op. I’m getting through pads like a baby in nappies. I even tried going out on the bike a couple of days ago, and it was a bloody nightmare. Ended up having to jump over a hedge to try and find somewhere to change the bloody thing.’

He looked up at her, the distress so apparent in his expressive eyes, before adding, ‘And it’s so hard knowing that I can’t make love to you, not properly, for months yet … if at all. Not in the same natural way. How could you even want me like that? And I don’t want you staying out of obligation, or just because you feel sorry for me.’