Page 39 of The Seaside Supper Club

‘Will, I’m so sorry it was bad news.’ She sat down beside him on the sofa, consciously leaving a few centimetres between them, giving him a little space.

‘Yeah, bit of a shock. I’m the healthy guy. All the cycling, I don’t smoke, don’t drink that much, eat pretty well. I feel fine. It seems crazy.’ He was shaking his head.

‘Yeah, it does. But at least it seems like you’ve caught it early. What did the consultant say exactly? You mentioned Type T2?’ Now seemed a better time for those questions.

She so wished she’d been in the room with him. She could have listened on his behalf, taken things in, made notes even, as his world had folded in like a pack of cards.

‘Well, it’s not the worst type, thank God. There’s one to four. Two means the cancer’s contained within the prostate, and not spread.’

‘Okay, well, that’s hopeful, I guess.’

‘Yeah, guess I got lucky.’ He sounded bitter, sarcastic even. ‘Sorry,’ he added swiftly, looking up at her, confusion and pain in his eyes. ‘I didn’t mean that. There’ll be lots of others having this conversation, who aren’t so lucky.’ He paused, sighed heavily, then took a sip of coffee. ‘Jeez.’

‘So, what happens next?’ she gently probed.

‘Umm, I need to have a more detailed talk, soon, with the team … multidisciplinary or something. We then decide whether we go for surgery or radiotherapy as the first option. There was also something about active watching – keeping an eye on it. That’s not going to happen here. I want it out. It’s fucking cancer, it’s going …’

‘Yeah.’ Cath nodded, understanding that he’d want to do everything he could to get rid of this tumour as soon as possible. Taking no chances that it might spread.

‘There are loads of possible side-effects to consider, too. It was hard to take it all in … There’s a letter they gave me. A website too. It’ll all be in there, I suppose.’

‘Okay, so we can look at all that. Get the information we need.’ Cath’s tone remained calm, even though she was tearing up inside for him.

He held her gaze with a haunted look. ‘Cath, I can’t tell the girls, not yet.’

‘I do think they’ll need to know, Will … they’d want to support you.’ They were adults, and this was their much-loved dad.

‘I know, I know, but not now. Not yet. Sophie’s got her big law exam coming up. Her degree hangs on this. I-I can’t do this to her, not again. She’s already had her A levels wrecked.’ He sighed heavily, exasperated by the position he found himself in.

‘Yeah, I understand that, but I do feel that they’d want to know … to help. To be there for you.’ Cath tried. It was such a big thing to keep from them.

‘Leave it, Cath,’ he snapped. ‘We need to keep this to ourselves for now. And yeah, maybe later, when her exam is done, maybe then it’ll be better news. Once it’s gone, once it’s removed. I’ll have the surgery … We can tell the girls, then. In a couple more weeks.’ He was determined to protect them.

‘But surely, they’ll want to know that you’re about to undergo surgery, if that’s the way it goes?’

His face was fixed, his decision too. ‘No, there’s no way I’m jeopardising Sophie’s exam. And if Sophie can’t know, then neither can Maddie.’

‘All right, of course, it’s your decision. Your family.’ God, this was so difficult, but she had to concede. ‘I can see your point with exams involved. Though I bet the girls will be bloody cross with you, once they find out that you’ve been holding back on this.’

‘Probably, but that’s nothing new, me doing something to annoy them … and hey, we can cross that bridge when we come to it.’ He managed a wry smile.

‘Oh, Will.’ Cath leaned in beside him, closing the gap between them on the sofa. His arm came around her, and they sat side by side, battered by worry and shock, and yet harboured by the warmth of their love. ‘We’ll get through this. We will. Together.’ Cath’s voice held strong, in a world that had just turned upside down.

Chapter 15

An hour later, still at Will’s place, having found some comfort in togetherness, he seemed restless, admitting to Cath that he felt both shattered and yet oddly alert. He had evidently been blown away by today’s news, with the sudden blast of excess energy that had followed the shock having no real outlet.

‘I think I might go out on the bike. Just a short ride. I need some air, some space. Something normal,’ he said. ‘I can’t just sit in and put life on hold whilst I wait for this next appointment.’

‘Yeah, I can understand that. That sounds a good idea,’ agreed Cath.

They’d now looked up the website, read his NHS letter and browsed the leaflets. So much information, and yet it was still so hard to digest the fact that this was real. It was late afternoon by this time. A mild late May day, with bubbles of cloud, the chance of a shower. It’d do him good to get out. Clear his head a bit, if that were possible.

‘I’ll nip home then,’ said Cath. ‘Unless there’s anything I can do here? Or that you want? Come back to mine later, if you’d like.’

She didn’t offer a meal. Right now, Cath didn’t even feel like cooking or eating. Her usual hearty appetite felt like it had been bludgeoned.

‘Ahm, I’ll let you know, when I get back. I just need a little space right now,’ he responded.