Page 103 of Rachel’s Pudding Pantry

‘Maisy, why did you go off like that, sweetheart?’ Rachel’s voice was calm, soothing, but she was desperate to know what was behind it all.

‘Sorry, Mummy. I went to make a wish and then the storm came and I got scared.’

‘A wish?’

‘Yes, at the fairy glen. My book says you can make wishes where the fairies are.’

Rachel was confused, until Maisy continued. ‘I wished that my daddy would come back.’

‘Oh Maisy.’ It suddenly all made sense, and Rachel squinted a tear from her eye. Sodding Jake. Who the hell needed a daddy like that? But that’s all Maisy wanted, to have her daddy around. Why was life so tough and unfair sometimes?

‘I wanted to come back home, Mummy, but then the thunder came …’

‘It’s okay, petal. Yes, it was silly and dangerous to go off on your own like that, but I understand. Tell me next time yeah, if you’re thinking about doing something like that, we can go together, or if you want to talk to me about anything. Promise?’

‘Promise. Cross my heart.’

‘Good girl.’

‘Right, let’s dry you off and get you all cosy, shall we?’ Rachel helped her little girl out of the bath and had a warm fleecy towel ready. ‘Then you can come down for a nice hot chocolate and a cuddle before bedtime, okay?’

‘’Kay.’

What a day that had been.

Rachel lay in bed in the early hours, unable to sleep, the emotions of the day’s events still fizzing through her veins. A multitude of thoughts filled her mind – her dad, the farm, the Pudding Pantry, the weight of it all so heavy within her. But, losing Maisy, the fear that she might have been hurt, or worse … that shook her to the core. This was what mattered the most: her family, her daughter. Everything else was just the means to keep them all going, to protect them.

And today … she’d failed them. She hadn’t taken enough care of Maisy. She hadn’t noticed she’d gone; her focus had been elsewhere.

The tears that hadn’t yet been shed now streamed down Rachel’s face, wetting the pillows beneath her head.

It’s okay, her kinder alter ego kicked in. It all turned out okay in the end.

She wasn’t a superhero, she was just human. You can’t have your eyes on your children every second of every day, she knew that. But, she’d been so busy, with the pudding stall, and the Pantry, then back home where they were still packing away, thinking about the bloody takings.

Holding it all together, trying to keep the farm going, it felt like a dangerous game of jackstraws, where one false move would send the whole pile crashing down. Today, it felt like the weight was too heavy, the load too much. Rachel didn’t know where they would go from here, or if she was strong enough to build it all up again.

She felt exhausted, wiped out. Finally, she fell into a light erratic sleep.