Page 92 of The Cosy Christmas Chocolate Shop

‘Are you okay, Em? You just don’t seem quite yourself.’

Emma looked around the room awkwardly. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Well, have you eaten this evening?’

She shook her head gently.

‘I haven’t had a chance yet either. I could get us some supper here,’ Max persevered.

Despite her stomach giving a little rumble of approval – it had been a long time since her midday sandwich – she felt uneasy. ‘Ah, sorry Max. I’m just so shattered, all I really want to do is to get myself back and crash out for the night.’ She put extra emphasis on the word ‘myself’. ‘I’ve got something in the fridge ready to warm up.’ Total lie.

‘Ah, okay. Fair enough.’ He seemed a little disappointed, his brow furrowed. He took a drink of Coke.

Emma sipped her coffee, focussing on the flickering flames of the fire.

Max shifted a little in his seat, his outer thigh touching hers by accident, lighting a little flame of pressure. Might this be the last time they touched each other? Emma felt suddenly sad. It was for the best, she told herself. Focus on her business, keep life simple, straightforward. She shifted her knee an inch back away, creating the void. Took another sip of her coffee.

‘How are things with your work?’ she asked.

‘Pretty good. Hectic. Got a great job on we’ve promised to have finished by Christmas. Full renovation of a three-storey house down in Jesmond, near a converted church and that great coffee shop that was near the last job. Lovely property, mind, but been neglected for many years. The new owners want a full makeover and a new extension to the back, right out from roof level. Big master bedroom above and a huge open-plan kitchen and living area below that will open right out on to the garden. It’s going to be stunning. But we’re still knocking out walls at the moment.’ Max paused, aware that he was doing most of the talking.

‘Right, lots to do then.’

She felt a little more relaxed. It was safer ground talking about work. They chatted some more until their drinks were nearly emptied.

‘Emma,’ Max’s tone was more serious, ‘are you interested in taking this any further? Us, I mean?’

So, he thought there was an us. ‘Ah, well …’

‘Okay, so you’re just trying to let me down gently here. Hey, I get it. It’s just, I thought we seemed pretty good together. I’d have liked to get to know each other a bit more.’

Emma really didn’t know what to say. It had been good. He seemed a nice guy. But …

‘I really like you, Em,’ he tried again.

She just smiled awkwardly. She liked him too, yeah. But if she seemed keen and they got into each other, began to rely on each other, something was bound to go wrong at some point; they’d find out they weren’t really suited, and she’d be back at square one. Relationships were like minefields. Better stick to the path she knew. Concentrate on her work, the shop, her friends, her family.

‘Max, I just feel I need to focus on the shop, the business, right now. Get myself through this busy Christmas period. It’s always so manic …’ She let her words drift.

‘Okay. I get it.’ He put his hands up with a sad kind of smile. ‘You’re just not that into me. Maybe I read the signals wrong. But I thought, you know, well I thought that it was more than sex.’

She didn’t answer.

‘Hey, come on. I’ll see you back to your car, then you can get yourself away.’

Was this it? Was she going to let it end here? Never know him more than this? But it was like there were huge warning signs going off in her head. One step more into this relationship and she’d be in too deep, when it all might go horribly wrong.

‘Sorry, Max.’ Her voice sounded tired.

‘Okay,’ he sighed gently. ‘Let me just see you safe to your car and then I’ll leave you in peace.’

And he was still wanting to make sure she was safe and fine, despite his obvious disappointment.

‘Thank you. For everything today and for all your help with the shop too. I’ll always remember that.’

They walked side by side back along the cobbled street to where Emma’s car was parked. They stopped, stood facing each other for a second. Max then moved towards her, giving her a polite kiss on the cheek, which felt very final.

What the hell are you doing, Em? a voice was clamouring in her mind. Yet another was saying it was the right thing. The best way. They had been good together, but now it was time to let it go. Max turned to walk away. She couldn’t watch! She ducked into her car and sat with a weird feeling of relief and regret all mixed up in her heart.