Page 68 of My Summer of Magic Moments

Now she was walking back down the beach towards the cottages. She took her time – there was nothing to rush for. She stopped to eat another apple, perched on a rock, then set off again, turning the corner to her bay. A hundred metres or so from the cottages, a black Labrador came bounding up to her. She recognized this one.

‘Bess. Hey, girl. How are you?’

She was bouncing around Claire, tail wagging. She must remember her. As Claire continued walking, she spotted the dog’s owner, looking decidedly less pleased to see her. He was standing at the end of his cottage garden, arms folded. Oops. Awkward moment ahoy.

‘Hi,’ she said to break the ice.

‘Hi.’ His voice was tense. He had a stern look across his brow.

So maybe he wasn’t too pleased to see her here, but it was a free country. She could rent the cottage next door if she wanted. And she didn’t have to be a bother to him. But she felt she ought to explain. ‘I missed it here, the sea …’ She nearly said ‘everything’, but that might include him, so she left it unspoken.

‘Yeah.’ He unfolded his arms. Bess was back around his legs. ‘It kind of gets you that way.’ His voice had softened.

‘I’m sorry. I would have stayed somewhere else if I could have afforded it.’ She didn’t know why she felt she had to justify staying here.

‘It’s okay. It’s fine. Bess is pleased to see you, anyhow.’ He didn’t add that he was.

Agh, this was so awkward. She’d invaded his private space, his place to get away. She wished she hadn’t come now. Her being here obviously affected him more than she’d thought it might. It was so hard to stand here and be polite and keep a distance. Next time she’d save up and get a caravan down the coast, or stay at a little B&B. But somehow that seemed too sad – not to be here in her cottage by the sea.

Ed watched her. He was trying to smile, but she couldn’t work out what he was thinking. He just stood there, looking so uncomfortable in the garden where he’d set out candles for her, where he’d made his gorgeous barbeque, talked and laughed with her. She wondered what had been on his mind back then? Was he thinking of his wife all evening, feeling guilty? Was it the first time he’d been with anyone since her death? Did it feel like a betrayal? Or something he had to get through? Tick the box – he’d done it, had sex with someone else. Got it over with.

‘Right, well,’ she said, trying to lift her voice with a breeziness she really wasn’t feeling. ‘I’d better be getting on in. I’ve walked six miles – I’m feeling a bit tired now.’ Actually a hot bath was calling.

‘Okay.’ You could see he felt let off the hook. ‘See you, then.’

‘Bye, Bess.’ The dog had nipped back to her side again, sharing allegiance. She ruffled the soft, silky black fur of her head. Claire lifted her gaze to Ed’s. ‘See you.’ Not tomorrow, not later. She gave a gentle smile. Felt a weight inside. Wanted to lift all their hurts like a huge bunch of balloons and throw them up into the sky, watch them drift away so they could start afresh. Simple. Just Ed and Claire, two people who had no past, no hurts. Just two people.

She turned to walk away, then paused, looking over her shoulder. ‘Thanks …’

His brow furrowed. ‘What for?’

‘For coming to explain that day. For finding me.’ She knew in her heart she had to at least say that much. Understanding what had happened that night had meant a lot.

‘No worries.’ He gave a nod and a hint of a smile. ‘Enjoy your break.’

‘Thank you.’

And she was determined to.

After her bath, she decided to head to Seahouses for a supper of fish and chips. She sat in a little café with a plate of salt-and-vinegared delights. Crispy-battered, soft, flaky white fish, freshly made chips. She’d taken her book in case she felt awkward on her own, but was quite content watching a family tuck in opposite and listening to their friendly banter, and then an old couple came in and sat on the table beside her. They were evidently enjoying themselves too, chatting away. When they got up to leave, the elderly gentleman brought the lady’s coat from the stand, held the door for her, and then took her hand as they walked away along the pavement. They must have been husband and wife, Claire mused – married for many years. They must have held hands so many times. It made her smile.

Later on, back at the cottage, she sank into a second bath of scented bubbles. The hot water tank, by some miracle, hadn’t failed her this time, providing her with a second full and hot tubful. She lay looking at her scar, which she realized didn’t frighten her any more. The reconstruction had given her boob a nice shape that pretty much matched the other side. True, the lack of a nipple appeared somewhat odd, as did the long scar, but she’d grown used to it. She didn’t want to be messed about with any more, didn’t want any more unnecessary ops, though she’d heard of new nipples being made from skin elsewhere on your body, somehow twisted into shape, or tattooed on – the wonders of technology. But for now that wasn’t for her.

After the bath, she sat reading her book, listening to music. She wandered up the drive to get some signal to text her mum and Sal to let them know she was fine and enjoying her break. She’d been lucky with the weather today. The wet stuff was coming in tomorrow by the sounds of it – she’d caught a forecast on the radio earlier. But that would give her the chance to write up her next article for the Herald and a quick ‘Magic Moments’ blog ready for next week. The column was still doing well on the website, though it was no longer in the main printed paper, and she was still getting regular feedback. She remembered the list she’d jotted down back in June. She’d been using it as a bookmark since – she slid it out from the pages of her latest novel and held it in her hand. All those moments she’d longed for, many of which she’d now achieved:

A sea view and sunshine on her face.

Time with her family – her sister and the boys, Mum. She felt even closer to them all now.

Tea and cake with friends – yes, with Andrea in Café 9, and several times since.

Hearing the sound of children’s laughter – many times, and it always made her smile.

A hot, deep bubbly bath – oh, yes, lots of those.

What else had she written? Ah yes, losing yourself in a great book. (This afternoon and before!) That was easy.

A hug – several, including a surprise one from Dragon Julia at work. And the ones from Ed had been pretty damned special. She so hoped he’d be okay. Her heart gave a little tug.