Page 13 of Wanted: Rogues and Bards

“Really? Outside? Where all the neighbors can see us?” Fenric groused.

Hapi huffed. “There wasn’t enough room in the house to raise you all at the same time. I also hadn’t had enough sleep and was too tired to move the damn furniture. Unless you’d rather have your food poisoning back? I don’t think you gluttons ate everything. Maybe another sausage?”

An icy chill swept through Fenric, and he shuddered. There was no more pain, but the memory of what he’d suffered was still fresh. He also was in no hurry to see Hapi standing over him with a knife and a cold grin. “No, thanks.”

“I’m so, so, so sorry,” Maxie wailed. “I didn’t mean to kill anyone!” Fresh tears poured down the boy’s face and Fenric rethought Hapi’s offer of death. He didn’t handle tears well.

“Puppy! That was amazing!” Rain shouted with a hearty laugh. “You killed us all so easily.” He climbed to his feet unsteadily, clutching his head.

“It was quite remarkable,” Belstrom chimed in. “The food tasted divine. There was not a single hint of poison in the taste.”

“But I didn’t use any poison!” Maxie was quick to argue. He didn’t look afraid anymore, especially when Malfas wrapped an arm around his slumped shoulders, pulling him in for a brief hug.

“Unless someone has a secret they haven’t shared with the rest of the group, our kitchen possesses no poisons,” Hapi stated. He picked up his knife and carefully wiped off the blood on the bottom of his shirt. “All my poisonous ingredients are locked away in my room.”

The warlock chuckled and patted Maxie’s arm warmly. “Then you must possess an innate magic that is unlike any I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of magic in my day. That is very special, indeed.”

“Having a poison specialist would be quite handy,” Rain murmured, stroking his beard. “I wonder if you could do anything else with your cooking. Do you think you could cook up explosive food? Maybe explodes in someone’s stomach? Or maybe just explodes when we throw it at them? Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

“I-I-I don’t know. I’ve never tried.”

“You’ve cooked before today?” Fenric interjected, still sitting on the ground. His body wasn’t happy with him about the poisoning or the dying. It demanded he sit in the soft mud and hot sun for a while as punishment.

“Oh yes! Lots of times. Though…” Maxie paused, his face wrinkling in a wince. “Prior to this morning, no one had ever eaten my food but me. My cooking was only a hobby and not good enough to be fed to others.”

“Nonsense! Your food tasted amazing. The very best I’d ever had in my life⁠—”

“Until it killed us all,” Fenric chimed in, cutting Rain off.

“Or how about food that melts their organs after they eat it? Those sausages felt like they were trying to do that. We just need to tweak what you did,” Malfas said.

Hapi rolled his eyes. “I didn’t get enough sleep to deal with this nonsense. I’m going back to bed.” He extended a hand to Fenric. “Not going to sit there all day, are you?”

Fenric shook his head, clearing away the rest of the fog, and took Hapi’s hand. “Thanks for killing me and raising me again.”

A wicked smirk twisted Hapi’s thin lips. “Well, you’re not totally useless. Plus, it’s not a horrible way to start the day.” Hapi released Fenric’s hand when the rogue was on his feet again, and his eyes darted over to where the others were escorting Maxie into the house. “Just…don’t eat anything he touches.”

“Yeah. Good idea.”

They might have had to die for it, but they had figured out one thing—Maxie was technically evil enough to join their little group. Not that it was going to happen. Nope. Nope. He needed too much training, and they didn’t need that kind of hassle.

This was not how he’d imagined starting his day.

Tasty food. Poisoned. Death. Resurrected.

Yeah, he was ready to crawl back into bed and try it all again tomorrow, but that wasn’t an option. He stumbled into the house and up the stairs to the bathroom, where he splashed some water on his face, then used a damp rag to wipe off the dried sweat and dirt from his time in the yard. There was no point in attempting more; the house had one bathroom and the line was already forming behind him. The grouchiest was Hapi because he was still covered in blood.

Once Fenric was as clean as he was going to get, he retreated to his room to find some clothes he hadn’t died in. Correction: clothes he hadn’t died in recently.

He’d just pulled on a new pair of trousers when a soft knocking came from his door. Fenric’s shoulders slumped and he nearly sighed. The sound was far too quiet to be any of his group, which meant it could be only one person.

Fenric jerked the door open to see Maxie standing on the other side, twisting his fingers together in front of him. His head hung low, so Fenric couldn’t see his face, but his ragged breaths meant the young man was on the verge of tears yet again.

“In.” He waved a hand for Maxie to enter while stepping aside.

Maxie shuffled inside like a man walking to the gallows. Not only had he been kicked out of his home and buried alive on the other side of the kingdom, but his luck was bad enough that he’d almost poisoned a bunch of people who’d taken him in for the night. Maybe Fenric should ask Malfas to run a spell to check if Maxie had been cursed by some pissed-off witch. They did not need a curse in their house.

“What’s wrong?” Fenric crossed his arms over his bare chest and spread his legs, bracing himself for the flood that was undoubtedly going to be unleashed.