Page 34 of On Your Knees

“Mm, good boy.” I set the flogger aside and pump more lube onto my fingers. I get right between his legs and lean over him. I lightly stroke his balls and watch how he bites his lip.

“You watched straight porn, didn’t you?”

“Y-yes.”

I slide my hand down, slipping my fingers between his cheeks. He makes a surprised little sound when I press lightly against his hole.

“You didn’t know you were gay, did you?”

He shakes his head.

I push my finger inside him. He sucks in a startled breath and clenches on me. I slide my other hand up his chest to his throat, playing with the strap there.

“Relax,” I instruct. “Push out.”

It’s hard for him, but he tries. I massage and stretch him. I work slowly, letting him get used to it, and as I do, a strange, sad emotion comes over me. I find myself leaning down on him as I work my fingers inside him. I don’t know what’s upsetting me. It’s something about the extreme vulnerability of his position and the way he’s opening for me like he’s safe. It’s the fact that he’s gasping against me, shocked at the sensations but not afraid of them. When I start rubbing his sweet spot, he starts making sharp little sounds. I could make him come right now.

I push away from him, pulling my fingers from his ass. I walk away. My hands are curling into fists. I’m breathing hard. I don’t think that I’m angry, but I find myself picking up a bullwhip from one of the benches. I swing it over my shoulder. At the loud crack and the relieving flash of pain, there’s a sharp cry—but it’s not mine.

I wheel around to see Levi rigid in the chair, his mouth open in shock. I swing the whip over my shoulder again. At the distinct crack, Levi flinches.

I go stalking back his way. I stand between his spread legs, staring at the stiff, shiny length of his lubed cock.

“Do you like that sound?” I ask.

“It… it scared me.”

“But you like being scared,” I point out, curling my hand around his cock and giving him a long, firm stroke.

“Ohhh,” he breathes then bites his lip again.

I push my fingers into his ass. He clenches instinctively then remembers to relax. He whines when I stroke his sweet spot.

“Oh my God,” he mumbles then shivers as I drag the tail of the bullwhip up his torso before snapping it over my shoulder to hit my back. Levi jerks, clenching on my fingers. His balls draw up, so I drop the whip and pinch his cockhead to stop him from coming. He pulls against me, straining and distressed. I withdraw my fingers from inside him and grab a ball weight from the tray.

Wrapping my hand around his balls, I tug them down. Levi moans at first, liking it, but when I fit the metal around his sac at the base of his cock, he freezes.

“What is that?” he asks.

“A ball stretcher.”

I release him so he can feel the weight of it, so he can understand. The stretcher looks beautiful on him, pulling down, forcing the skin taut around his balls.

“What do you think?” I ask as I return to the tray to consider the toys. I choose one of the dildos, a small one. I lube it and step between his legs again.

“It feels strange,” he says breathlessly.

“Why haven’t you tried things?” I ask him as I rub the dildo between his cheeks.

“I don’t know.”

“Answer the question.” I thump the dildo against his swollen balls, making him cry out.

“I don’t feel anything. I don’t react. Not like I’m supposed to.”

“You’re reacting now. What’s the difference?”

“I don’t know—please, I really don’t!”