Page 81 of Novice Girlfriend

“I think I’m being selfish.” I tried to make my tone like I wanted it dropped, but he didn’t.

“Has no one called to check in?” he hedged.

“Everyone’s busy and got their own stuff,” I whispered, glancing at my phone, but then I frowned. “I am selfish. I never really check on anyone. It’s always my shit.” My lower lip quivered. “I’m a shitty friend. How did I never realize that?”

He was sitting next to me in a flash and hugged me to him. “Hey, that’s not fair. You’re always grateful. Some people aren’t good at reaching out. You make everyone feel appreciated. Always. That’s for people who don’t reach out unless they want something. Or just go along with plans.”

“I only reach out to you when I need something,” I countered.

He seemed to realize he’d just stepped in his own point and kissed my hair. “Yeah, but you bring me gorgeous flowers and are always there when I need you. That’s not the same. Trust me. That’s not the same. I’m here asking for what I shouldn’t. Your friends have asked for jobs and—you’re a good friend, Bev.”

“How do I fix this and be a better friend?”

“Don’t. Don’t do that to yourself,” he begged. “You’re trying to fit some mold of what you think a friend should be, and that’s—there should be different types of friends. People are getting back to school and they’ll check in tomorrow or probably think you might want space. It’s not easy on their end.”

“True.” I accepted that. I had no idea how I would act if it was Gloria. Like what was the right thing to say?

Especially since they probably all knew the story was bullshit. Wyatt said the same thing and that settled me.

“Maybe I am all over more than I realized,” I whispered. “I don’t regret what I did. It’s just overwhelming.” Then I frowned. “I honestly feel more guilty for what you’re going through and being the one who gave you the apple.”

“I wish I could convince you that I’m so fucking grateful for what I got to experience with Quinn, but that wouldn’t sound real when I’ve just been crying to you,” he muttered. “Is there something we can do to take your mind off of it?” He cleared his throat when I flinched. “Do you want to do some training or Independent Study work?”

“Oh! Yes, could you help me find some books?” I asked excitedly. “Clare sent videos from the Shaw library and I haven’t gone through them. Or maybe help me figure out what some are and maybe one of Winter’s friends can—can I send them on an errand?”

“Yeah, I think they can do that when you’ll give them the money,” he drawled. “The fact you let them harvest magic here is fucking priceless. They’re always asking what they can do to help. I know they’ve got lists and ideas for when you have time.”

“That’s actually really nice.” I sighed. “I also need to check inventories and get Kate caught up on how to be my personal assistant.”

“I think that is something one of them should maybe learn too since you’re also planning on branching out.” He turned towards me and held up a finger. “Hear me out.” He waited until I nodded. “Your magic is evolving. You should be experimenting, especially with your power. Not to sell, but once every couple of weeks I want you to play with something.”

“Like for the spa in the future?”

“Yes, but what you want. Not just the business. I know you’re focused on the income, but your friends laid into us about you needing to have some fun. That we’re always on you on how to de-stress, but then don’t give you the opportunity. And they’re right, but we build it in. Maybe every other Sunday afternoon you skip sessions and just explore your magic.”

“I’d love that,” I breathed, beyond excited. “Could we really? That would be better than the aquarium.”

He knew about some of that, but then I excitedly told him the rest and how the sharks were and all I’d learned. I felt bad for rambling until I realized he was giving me looks that were fairly intimate while tucking my hair behind my ear.

I cleared my throat and we got to work. Clare’s video was great and Bernice was actually helpful, finally realizing it was time to get on the team or she’d be banished like Moth—Rebecca. Like all of us agreed, so get with the program.

Nothing shocked me more than Bryan actually helping. He said he was going through some of Charles’s stuff to help Jean and found records of my tutoring. He said he’d scan it personally and give me digital copies because he didn’t trust the staff to do it, but thought Jean didn’t want to hand it all over.

Granted, he didn’t say it to me, but it was on the video. It was reasonable, so I wouldn’t object, and it did seem like Charles to have it all accounted for. That man would want the records of what he’d put in his “investments,” and that was what he saw his daughters as. And useful, so that was nice.

Clare had gotten video of a few key pages that had syllabi of what the one tutor had made me learn from in one year.

“This cannot be right,” Bernice said as she looked it over. “These books are—”

“Grandmother, you promised,” Clare warned, her voice tight.

Bernice did a double take and looked hurt. “I am keeping my promise, Clare. Truly.” She gestured to the log. “These are books I cannot understand. This isn’t a slight on Bevin. I swear it. I think this tutor might have been lying to Charles for a bigger payout.”

“That’s something to consider given Father wouldn’t have listened to Bevin or ever asked her to verify anything,” Bryan drawled as he looked it over. “I only recognize one of these titles and it’s beyond what we learned at Morrigan. I saw it on a list to prep if we wanted in the doctorate program. Ask Bevin if she really read it. I’m curious.”

“Yes,” I told Wyatt before he even asked. “All of them.” I nodded when he slowly looked at me. “Charles used to quiz me. He had no idea the material, but he would quiz me on things with the tutor’s cheat sheets. I had no idea they were so advanced. He… He equated it to having been out of school so long you forget the formulas of calculus and dismissed it.”

“And never worried about you really knowing it to be powerful since he thought you had no magic and couldn’t use any of it since you didn’t have the foundational layers,” he muttered. He pushed when I shrugged. “No, I’m telling you. That’s how he would have thought. How our families would have thought. It wouldn’t have been any harm for you to learn it then.”