Page 34 of Novice Girlfriend

The one holding the apple core.

“Oh no. No, they can’t do this to me,” I rasped as a proverbial weight landed on me so heavy that my knees almost buckled.

“Bev, hey, come on, Bevin,” Wyatt worried, holding my face and making me focus. “Breathe. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Breathe with me. Listen to my heartbeat, right?”

“It’s like the twentieth time I’ve cried today,” I mumbled as I blinked back tears. “I give up even trying to control it any more. Emma is gonna kick me.”

“She won’t, but seriously, what did I miss?”

“It’s the apple,” I choked out. “It’s another miracle, Wyatt. Another miracle that I gatekeep and people will want from me.” I nodded when he swallowed loudly, but then let out a dark laugh and let him hug me. “Hecate’s tree isn’t the giving tree. I am.”

“I don’t know what that means, but it’s okay. I won’t have another apple or—”

“Really?” Quinn whispered. “You don’t want to talk to me, Derek?”

I curled up and cried. That was exactly what I knew would happen. Of course Derek and Quinn would want to talk. Anyone would want to talk to their familiar and all of the time even.

“Maybe it’s permanent,” Wyatt said, his voice making it clear he didn’t believe it either. He pulled me against him and kissed my hair when I cried harder.

There was no way the gods would give that huge of a gift in one apple. That people could permanently hear their familiars?

No way. Not when it was a gift and a test.

When I managed to calm down a bit, at least enough to talk, I pulled away and focused on Quinn. “The apples are limited and only I can get them. They either heal me or will let people talk to their familiars and there’s no way it will last.”

“Oh, that’s sad,” he whispered but then nodded. “Okay, so you and Derek split them and don’t—”

“Wait,” I cut in. “They’re from the gods. You can’t be selfish with gifts from the gods, right? It’s a test to see what we’ll do with them. If you take them all, then I can’t heal. If we don’t share, no one else can experience what you guys are.”

He lowered his head. “But I want to talk to Derek like I talk to you. I’ve always wanted that. This isn’t fair.” Something broke inside of me when he pulled away and went over to Derek for comfort. “I wish you didn’t find the apple only to have this for a while and then we lose it.”

“Bevin, wait,” Derek choked out when I stood and headed for the bathroom.

I went inside and locked the door, sliding to the floor and breaking down, quietly sobbing. I curled into a ball on my side and just sobbed. Why was everything so unfair and painful for me? Why did anything good have to come with so much pain?

Why did I have to give miracles to others, but it came at such a high cost? My cost?

This isn’t a test, but a curse, and I’m tired of carrying it. I don’t want to live like this anymore.

Wyatt broke the rule of not circling to me in my room unless an emergency—or maybe saw this as one—and did it so he didn’t have to break down the door. He moved me onto his lap and Quinn curled up on me like we were suffering together, but some part of me wanted to shove the familiar away.

I wasn’t mad at him this time though. I understood how he felt, but it didn’t hurt me any less.

When I was all cried out, I realized that we weren’t in the bathroom anymore but on the sofa and his shirt was soaked. I didn’t even bother apologizing and just lay against him numb.

“Quinn, what you said hurt her a lot, and I know you didn’t mean to, but I need you to hear me, okay?” Wyatt said gently. “Yes, I would love to hear you all of the time. Of course I would. You know that. But just like how I like when we do the sessions and are closer together, we can’t do that all of the time. It’s just not possible.

“This is like that. It’s extra, extra special. The gods gave us this gift. It’s so special that we have to treat it as just this one time. It’s so special, it’s as special as you are. If I had a ton of familiars, then I wouldn’t value them the way I do you, right? But you are my one and only miracle of a familiar from the gods. That’s why I treasure you.”

“That makes sense,” Quinn muttered. “It just seems like that car your dad gave you then took away because you didn’t do what he wanted. Your parents always took gifts back. It hurt you. I don’t like when gifts are taken back from you and now it hurts me too.”

I felt horrible for both of them and understood Quinn a lot better now. “That had to be horrible for both of you. I would be upset too, but it’s more like a one-time event. Think of it like a wedding reception or when he graduated. That special time and then things go back to normal. You have to enjoy that moment and cherish it.”

“Okay, I will try.” He moved and snuggled against me. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Bevin. Do you want me to get you an apple so you can feel better?”

“No, I’m okay. I think we should leave the apples alone now that we know what they do. They’re very complicated,” I mumbled. I kissed his fur. “You guys go and talk. Talk about everything you’ve always wanted to because we don’t know how long it will last.”

Wyatt flinched under me. “What?”