Page 58 of The Wolf and the Monarch

“Yeah, well. I think yours was worse.”

Sawyer frowned a bit at that comment, turning his gaze away from Benji. He hated reminding him about Cole, but there was really no denying his statement. “Well, tomorrow I’m on chores duty.”

“Okay, deal,” he said and smiled a bit before walking towards the kitchen again.

Sawyer stood up from the couch and headed towards the stairs then paused for a moment. “Thanks, Benji.”

“No problem.”

“No, I mean thanks for everything today. If you weren’t there, I’d probably be dead.”

Benji hated how accurate that statement was. If he hadn’t been there to drive the car, Sawyer probably would have crashed and could have died that way. And if that didn’t kill him, Milo or one of his thugs probably would have found him and finished the job. That thought made his stomach knot. “You’re welcome,” he finally answered, voice softer than he had intended.

Sawyer nodded his head a couple times before he headed upstairs, leaving Benji alone in the kitchen to finish up the dishes from their dinner.

Chapter Twenty Seven

Sawyer

The moment Sawyer crawled into the bed, that was far more comfortable than the shitty mattress in that basement that he distinctly remembered thinking it wasn't that bad, his body deflated. Exhausted didn’t really even come close to describing what he was. But even with how exhausted he was, there was a part of him that was still wired up. How could he just go to bed after everything that happened? When he was in the bunker, that was just life. He was used to the chaos and the carnage. But he wasn’t there anymore. His life had changed dramatically in the course of twenty four hours and he was still trying to figure out how to exactly process that.

In the shower, he cried. Again. Now that he didn’t have Milo around to tell him it was wrong, he felt okay about doing it but he wasn’t going to make a habit of it. And a good cry was needed and warranted he felt. Not just because of what happened to Cole, which he still felt horrendous about and he doubted he would ever not feel that way. But simply because the life that he knew was gone. It was a good thing. A very good thing. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t stressful.

He didn’t bother to close the door to his bedroom. He probably could have but it felt safer with it open. Not that he didn’t think he was safe at the current juncture but just in case. Sawyer tucked his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling for a few moments before he closed his eyes. It was shocking how quickly he had managed to fall asleep. Apparently his exhaustion outdid the other feelings he had.

For the next few hours, he slept rather soundly. Probably the best sleep he had in months but the urge to use the bathroom unfortunately roused him. As quietly as he could, he wandered over to the bathroom, relieved his aching bladder and washed his hands. When he passed by Benji’s room the first time, he heard him roll over but didn’t think much about it. But when he passed by again and heard him moving around again, he couldn’t help but quietly approach the doorway.

He didn’t have his door shut either so Sawyer was able to peer inside the room, just wanting to make sure that everything was okay. The light from the window illuminated enough of the man for Sawyer to see that his face was anything but serene. He rubbed at his good palm a bit awkwardly as he thought about what to do. Was he having a nightmare? Was waking him up a good idea? Should he just go back to bed and pretend he didn’t see anything?

Sawyer rolled his eyes. Of course he couldn’t do that. But he also just couldn’t leave Benji there to sleep like shit on his first night of freedom. He moved quietly into the man’s bedroom and walked to the side of the bed where Benji wasn’t. Things were different when Benji was trapped in the basement. He didn’t mind him snuggling up to him then. But things could very well be different now that they weren’t there. Sawyer decided that he was going to risk it anyway. If Benji didn’t want him there, he could kick him out.

As gently as he could, he pulled himself onto the bed and underneath the blankets. Benji didn’t seem to notice so Sawyer took the opportunity to move closer and closer to him. He pressed his chest against Benji’s back and that was when he finally took notice of him. The man stiffened a bit against him like he had the first time Sawyer had held him, but once Sawyer wrapped his arm around his middle, just like he did the first time as well, he relaxed. Benji molded his body into Sawyer’s and his hand softly rested on his arm.

Sawyer was still quite tired so the moment his head rested on the pillow, he fell asleep again, but his arm didn’t budge from around Benji until he woke back up in the morning due to the sound of the burner phone's text tone going off. It was enough to jolt them both awake and Sawyer gingerly rolled over onto his back, rubbing his eyes while Benji checked the text. He released a puff of air and said, “It’s Jackson. He said Lindsey will be here in a few hours.”

“Okay, cool,” Sawyer mumbled, still in the process of waking up.

Benji laid back down in the bed beside Sawyer, adjusted the blanket quite a bit around his waist area and placed his hands on his stomach, gazing up at the ceiling. “How did you sleep?”

“Really well,” he admitted, “Probably the best in a long time,” he glanced over to Benji. “What about you?”

He could see Benji’s cheeks redden a bit as he nodded. “Pretty good once uh…you know.”

Sawyer smiled a bit. “Yeah… Were you having a nightmare?”

Benji shrugged. “I don’t know… Don’t really remember.”

“Do you not remember your dreams?”

“Sometimes I do. Just…don’t recall last night’s, I guess…” He trailed off and glanced over to Sawyer. “Is that why you…?”

He nodded. “Yeah. You were tossing and turning,” Sawyer returned Benji’s gaze. “I figured it would be okay because we had done it before.”

“Yeah…yeah, it was definitely okay.” He fell silent and looked back up at the ceiling as if something was really interesting up there, so Sawyer looked as well. They were silent for a long moment before Benji spoke up again. “Do you have a…a girlfriend or something?”

Sawyer’s brow arched a bit at that question. Was Benji fishing? He didn’t really expect it, to be quite honest, but now that they weren’t locked up in a basement and were somewhat safe, he supposed talking about things like that made sense. “No, I don’t. There weren’t a lot of good candidates for that around the bunker.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.”