Page 88 of Monster. Me.

"I’ll be twenty-four in exactly a week," he mutters.

I smile. "Maybe we can do something for the occasion?" A bit of bitterness slips into my tone because I know that in my current situation, a real birthday party is difficult to organize.

"That’s nice of you to suggest, but I’m not one of those people who longs for huge parties with colorful hats, confetti, and cake… but you can always throw a ball for me. I really like that," he says with a smile, fluttering his eyelashes coyly.

I chuckle, lean down, and kiss his soft lips. He immediately reacts enthusiastically, his arms wrapping around my neck and his slim, taut body pressing against mine.

We both become more serious, and our lips meet again, this time harder, more intensely, with passion and the hidden hope that everything will turn out well…

In one motion I grab him around the waist and lift him into the air, my hands sliding under his thighs. I press him lightly against the tree and allow myself to cover his neck with unhurried, wet kisses, probably leaving a few hickeys behind. Marlow tilts his head back, surrendering to it with a truly feline kind of pleasure. The cherry blossom scent of his long hair brushing against my skin is dizzying.

Over the past two weeks, his body has adjusted to mine. He doesn’t need long preparation anymore, and I take full advantage of that convenience now.

In a few quick movements, I push his pants down and lift him back into the air. Sex against a tree trunk carries something almost romantic in it, the forest all around us, the scent of pine, sun-warmed forest floor.

I see it in Marlow’s eyes, bright and sparkling, a subtle smile forming on his lips as my fingers slide over his ass, searching for entry. He’s already wet, and I’m rock hard, which makes it perfect. So I press against his wet, soft entrance, sliding into him inch by inch, looking him straight in the eyes.

I love these moments. When he gives me his most intimate tunnel to take over. He always has that particular expression, something utterly submissive, sweet, almost innocent, as I push in, as I break through his pink ring.

I leave a small kiss on his raspberry lips, then another soft peck, and another. We exchange these sweet, very delicate kisses, something entirely foreign to me, yet unexpectedly wonderful. I am inside him, but that’s not the only thing that matters. I discover so much more in this connection between us. I feel him, his entire being, his fears, that inner curled-up part of him, his sadness and painful loneliness, like a wound carved into his soul. All his dreams, bare, vulnerable, trembling inside him.

"I see you, my love," I whisper. "So clearly."

It does it. Marlow suddenly lets out a sound, like a painful exhale, a choked breath.

It’s as if something wanted to get out of him, waiting for an opportunity, compressed inside and desperate.

"I’m so lonely! I always was, but I don’t want to be, don't let me be, Fenn…" His voice breaks even deeper, his lips trembling. "It hurts. It pushes me into darkness… I’ve been there and I don’t want to go there again," he mumbles, his eyelids tightly shut. "Only a monster could understand it, because I carry one inside me."

I kiss his wet lips. "I do. I feel the same. Will you… will you belong to me, Marlow? Only me? I will fill the emptiness, the loneliness, if you let me. I promise."

And again that breath, that strange, trembling ache inside him, like it rises from his soul, from the days when he kept falling and couldn’t get back up.

And I make a small, soft thrust of my hips, sliding into him with a slow, tender motion, the way I want to enter into his life and bring him change, joy, fullness.

I see a clear line of a tear on his cheek, and I press my lips to it, tasting salt and pain.

"Nobody ever wanted me in their life, Fenn… not beyond my body."

"And nobody ever wanted me either, not like this, not as a…" I interrupt and hesitate before finishing, "human."

I speak it feeling a shiver inside me, something powerful, like breaking through a barrier, an opening, hope, a plea for being treated… normal.

"We still can have it, Fenn; we can have it all, can’t we?"

He whispers desperately, looking into my eyes, mint-green and silver brightened by tears.

"We can, baby, we can. I will fight for it and never give up."

"Don’t… ever… never…"

I answer him with a gentle movement of my hips, sinking deeper into him and painting kisses across his pale, tear-soaked cheeks.

"We found each other… I’m never letting you go."

He wraps his arms tightly around my neck, and the forest surrounds us with swaying branches as I move in his heat.

And for a moment everything is beautiful.