Page 39 of The Pleasure in Persuasion

Chapter Twelve

Even before last night’s wondrous encounter, Lily had begun to suspect she might be developing feelings for Frederick.

This morning, however, she was absolutely certain of it…and she had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

Pausing in her sweeping of the inn’s front walkway, she cast another glance out at the lane, but it was still empty. No sign of Frederick.

She heaved a disappointed sigh, then sighed again, this time in exasperation. She was being silly, behaving like this, like some young girl in the throes of first love.

Still, she couldn’t seem to help it. He was all she had thought of when she went to bed last night, and when she awoke this morning, he was still on her mind, as if he’d been there all night, in her dreams.

And who could fault her for that? He was an extraordinary man, and she loved being with him, but she knew she was growing to care for him too much. He was leaving soon, and she could not afford to let his kisses or the lovely things he said go to her head.

I think I’m in danger of losing my heart to you.

Those eleven words had thrilled her to the tips of her toes, but she could not forget that she had just met him, and his words, though lovely, had held no promises.

She would not give her heart away to a man she didn’t trust, and while her instincts told her Frederick was a good and honorable man, the life he apparently led in London did make her uneasy.

He seemed to regret his recent affair with the married woman, but then, he had been caught, and his actions had incurred very real, very unpleasant consequences. Who wouldn’t regret that?

He said it was the first affair he’d had with a married woman, and she believed him. Still, his own sister had called him a rogue, which meant he’d had his share of dalliances, likely with widows and courtesans. Perhaps even a spinster or two, like herself.

Was that what he wanted from her? A meaningless affair?

Was that what his time at the inn had been, the diligent efforts of a rogue sniffing after his next liaison?

Perhaps she was being naïve, but she didn’t think that was his intent. She couldn’t believe it had all been an act, that he hadn’t meant the things he’d said to her, that the tenderness in his kiss wasn’t real.

I think I’m in danger of losing my heart to you.

His words ran through her mind again, and she could not forget the look in his eyes as he’d said them. How rueful he’d appeared, almost bashful, as if the admission had been uncomfortable for him.

As if he’d only just realized the truth of it himself.

No, she couldn’t believe he was using her for a brief, meaningless dalliance. If he’d wanted to slake his lust with her body, he could have done so last night. She was not ashamed to admit that she’d wanted him desperately and probably would have given herself to him if he’d let her. But he’d been the one to end the encounter. And then he’d told her he was losing his heart to her before saying goodbye and heading for home.

She didn’t know what any of it meant, but somehow, she knew she could trust him not to mislead her, just as she knew she couldn’t wait to see him again. Which was why she was out here now, waiting for him, and sweeping a walkway that didn’t need to be swept.

She drew in a breath and turned for the door, intending to go inside while she still possessed a speck of pride. She would not look for him again. She would return to the kitchen and finish some real work, and Frederick would arrive when he arrived.

She absolutely would not look for him again.

“Good morning, Lily.”

Whirling around, she found Frederick walking toward her and nearly dropped her broom at the sight of his handsome smile.

He wore simple clothes again today, his easy strides displaying his strong legs and lean hips, and as he drew near, a mild breeze played with his thick, black locks.

Stephen’s hair was blonde, she mused, and so was Phillip’s, the neighbor boy she’d fancied years ago when she was just a slip of a girl. She’d never been smitten with a dark-haired man before.

She was certainly smitten with this one.

“Frederick,” she said, trying for a serene smile, though undoubtedly failing. “Good morning to you.”

She’d worried she would feel awkward when she met him again, but she didn’t. She felt only happiness. And the strong desire to kiss him.

“How are you today?” he asked, his warm blue eyes roving over her face.