Page 184 of Season Warriors & Wolves

Eren

It was the cinnamon scented autumn wind that always brought me out of nightmares these days instead of the salt and pine warm one. It dried my sweat and quietly calmed my breathing down—it was always the wind. The man sleeping next to me did not stir when I pushed myself up to rest against the headboard, trying to grasp the truth of my reality and distance myself from what plagued my nights and my many thoughts. At night, I was still a soldier. In my dreams, the wind beating against my skin was harsh. And the reality that I saw there was an old one.

I ran a hand over the burned skin all over my arms, spreading cool over them until they settled again. Blackfire. It still burned red flames, that was part of the deceit, but it burned a forever burn. Dark magic—some of the darkest. Adriatians had tried to make sure nothing would come out alive that night. They had been prepared.

The doors to my room burst open and Lin strutted in, heavy steps and breathing fast, followed by her husband who sighed and leaned against the door. My little sister paced back and forth at the foot of my bed for a moment before acknowledging me and her friend laying next to me, both of us…naked.

Cai opened an eye and groaned, going back to sleep as if this was just another time Snow had done this.

I clutched the sheets up to my chest and made sure my little sister remained unconcerned and unhaunted by the visions of me clothless. “Lin, what’s wrong?”

She sneered at Kilian. “Aggravating man.”

“Aggravating woman.”

“Are they divorcing?” Cai groaned, still half asleep.

I sighed. “One of you talk, please.”

Snow crossed her arms. “We are waiting for Memphis to return from Isjord with news from Skadi. She’s taken Nia’s potion last night.”

“And? Where is the issue?”

“She wants to go to Isjord and see herself,” Kilian said. “Doesn’t trust it entirely until she can see it herself.”

Cai laughed first and then I followed. Not the right move.

My sister looked furious. “My bonded has not returned.”

Kilian finally reached a hand to her. “She will return, my heart. Memphis will never be caught by them.”

Snow took his hand. “But—”

“No buts, my missus.”

I looked between the two sickly in love fools. “Why did you come to argue in my room?”

My sister threw me a scathing glare. “You two are the only ones in the whole castle, would you believe. Can’t go down the dungeons for advice, can I? They only ask not to be killed, which is the worst advice ever.”

Cai’s head popped up, startling her. “What?”

Kilian dragged Snow outside. “Will let you get ready. We will be on the terrace waiting for news from Skadi and whoever is joining the meeting in the Dravan Isle later today.”

“I’ll be up there in a moment.”

Cai’s eyes were still half shut with sleep as he got himself dressed. Tired as always. He stood and left a small kiss on my neck. “See you tonight?”

“Is there something with you and daylight?”

He huffed, trying to button his trousers. There was so much in his mind. There had to be. He was only ever so quiet when his mind was loud.

Just when he was about to pull away, I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his body and just…held him. One, then two and three. He didn’t move. I’m sure he wanted to, I could feel the way his muscles went rigid against mine. “What is it, Cai? You know you can talk to me,” I whispered, not daring to raise my voice any louder and push him away with words—words he never gave me.

Perhaps he hadn’t heard me.

It would have been better if he hadn’t.

Because he so cruelly said, “If I wanted someone to talk to, I’d go visit my father’s grave. At least he won’t give me life changing advice that won’t be so life changing for me.”