Page 32 of Spring Guardians & Songbirds

I looked up at him. “No man has minded seeing me in this before. Actually, they might have minded because if I remember clearly, I never wore this for long before I was naked.”

A shadow crossed his face and I swear his silver orbs shone black. No, they really did. Bracing himself on the sofa and over me, he leaned down to my face. “Don’t go poking the bear. You have no idea what you make me capable of.”

I shivered even though the liquor had made my body incredibly warm. “You have no claim over me.” His act was tiring me,

“Your lies are starting to stink now, wife.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Your Majesty. Sleep pretending I won’t let any man have their way with me after every night I spent with you just to wash the stench of this nightmare from my thoughts.”

He smirked. Actually smirked. “Hmm. No need to taste or smell them anymore. They’re falling apart the second they leave your mouth.” He straightened and it was only then I noticed he only wore a pair of loose linen trousers that hung low on his hips. The deep V of his muscles pointing my attention right over his bulge pushing the thin fabric. My mouth went dry and then pursed with fury when he said, “Let another man touch you and I will use their carcass to feed the soil of my garden. You are mine.”

You are mine.

You are mine.

The words bounced with intent to annoy me. Spinning to lay on my back, I kicked the blanket away, aware the short thing had hiked up enough to show my underwear. “I don’t usually stay for the long run, you can do as you wish with their carcass.”

He rubbed a frustrated hand over his eyes and left to return shortly with an item of clothing in his hand. Kneeling before me, he grabbed my ankle and attempted to push it through a pant leg.

I began thrashing and then a sharp whack to my bottom stunned me to silence. Did he just—

“Stay still, you brat.” He pulled up the trousers all the way to my hips and fastened them with the ties. I let him. I somehow let him. Why did I let him? Gods, the room was spinning so much.

“Fuck,” he said, rubbing his jaw in frustration. “I don’t know what was worse, seeing you bare or seeing you in my clothes.”

My chest rose in staccato—this was too much. I was angry, so angry, but why wasn’t I angry at him? This man who had killed my mother. This man who dragged me through hell. It was the same one who’d suddenly made the stars shine at night. “Go away,” I whispered harshly, treacherous tears threatening to pour out of my prickling eyes. “Get away from me.”

“You're not sleeping there.”

“Pray tell, where am I sleeping tonight?”

“Where you will sleep every night.” He raised a brow and pointed to the bed behind. “In my bed and right next to me.”

I got in his face. “You can’t force me to do that, there was nothing mentioned in our bargain about that.” I couldn’t. Sour betrayal stung my thoughts. Did my mother’s heart weep black blood when she had seen what I’d let him do to me—touch me, kiss me? When I’d touched him back, kissed him back?

“Then you better make some space because we are both sleeping on that sofa tonight and the foreseeable future.” Before I made to speak again, he grabbed my chin and brought my face close to his. “Go on. See where defying me will take you.”

Defy him? “Fuck. You.” For lack of any actual words forming in my mouth.

A smile tugged at his lips. “Not tonight.” Without warning, he threw me over the shoulder and went to drop me on his bed. He flipped the cover over me and tucked me tight. “I’d give you a good night kiss too, but I’d rather not be punctured again.”

It was too loud. My breathing, my anger, my pulse, my thoughts. On top of that, everything was also spinning and now blurring red.

After he settled on the other side, the room went stark dark. “Move and I will tie you to the post, Snowlin. And it will not be the type of tied up that you or I will like.”

“Touch me and all to hell with saving the realm because I will kill you.” I swallowed hard, following the movement of shadows in the room. At each flicker of movement, my heart jolted. This was going to be a very long night.

And long the night was. My lids ached from remaining open and aware all night long. Dawn drew along sluggishly as if it loathed me, as if I'd wronged it. From his controlled breaths I knew he had not slept either. Silently watching me. Did he enjoy this? Did he enjoy making me his prey again? Did he enjoy the chase?

At the first sound of a cockatoo and the sight of mauve colouring of the sky, I shot to my feet and left his room.

Dawn. Hate. The two had gone hand in hand since I was a child being trained to show the skill I so proficiently hid. Hate was a food best swallowed early and with an empty stomach because I was a glutton for it—to feel hate. I craved it. Perhaps father had won somehow. If you hate well enough, nothing else feels strong enough after it. Like sugar after liquor. Regret, sympathy, distress, they all vanish when you hate. Yet it was dawn and all I felt as I clicked his door open to leave was numbness. A sharp numbness. No hate. And the anger I felt was now pointed at myself—for faltering when it came to hating him.

Colours of dawn had revealed much that night had hidden. Soldiers clad in black leather and their onyx steels lined the outside periphery of the castle. Their attention set and stern. They couldn’t see me, but it felt like they could sense me even within the walls because their hand went to their baldrics. Only these people could make me forget what I was capable of.

I didn’t turn to look at him, my feet almost carrying me to a jog as if I needed to escape. Corridors bypassed like a warping nightmare with crawling monsters breathing down my neck, reaching for my limbs. I tasted ash on my tongue. I felt blood pour out of my cheek. Hot panic bruised my airways, each breath felt like a punch and rock heavy. Everything was heavy and itchy and constricting, even my own bones.

All over again. It happened all over again. The feel of their oily touch made me whimper and I suddenly couldn't breathe. A cold sensation brushed my neck, like the monster was breathing down close to me. And I was trapped and sentenced to just feel it tear me apart.