Page 61 of Realm of the Wicked

I shuffled down on the cool ground so I could prop myself up on my arm. ‘Let me take you inside. I can tuck you into bed. Get you some extra blankets.’

‘Don’t avoid the question.’ She rolled her eyes. Color was already blooming back in her cheeks. She needed sleep, food, and her bed. If I could get her to fall asleep, maybe I could get her back into her bed without protest, and then procure the rest.

She was so beautiful. Too beautiful for me, or the Fringe. I couldn’t give her half of the things she deserved in this life, but I could give her the truth. ‘Because there wasn’t another option.’

Stella lay quietly next to me, so silently, I thought she’d fallen asleep. But when I looked down at her again, she was watching me intently.

‘What’s on your mind?’ I asked.

‘Did you ever think about what you’ll leave behind when the world is nothing but ash and dust? Do you think you’ll still be standing, roaming the world, alive but alone? At some point, you’re going to outlive everything worthwhile. On the other hand, if the universe outlives you, don’t you want to leave something more than your bones behind?’

I hesitated, her words sinking in deeper than merely flesh. ‘I guess I never considered it from that point of view. I merely accepted forever.’

‘I’ve been thinking about it a lot. With Grace. No one will even remember I existed. I have no legacy.’ She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. I wanted to brush them away, wrap my own arms around her. ‘I guess what I’m trying to say is that nothing is truly forever, Damien. Not even you. Everything outlives its usefulness at some point.’

‘Even to you?’

Her head snapped toward me. ‘To me?’

I pressed my lips together, weighing out the words I was about to offer her. What they truly meant. What she’d take them for. ‘Will I outlive my usefulness to you at some point?’

‘I think the reality is that I’ll leave my bones behind far before that ever happens.’ Stella’s eyes drifted past me, locking onto something that wasn’t me.

She was tired, and I was keeping her awake just by being here, talking with her. I should’ve taken her up to bed, not listened to her complaints. Not like she could’ve overpowered me.

Somehow, I couldn’t stop myself. ‘Don’t say that.’

She smirked, a wicked grin I couldn’t look away from. ‘Would you rather I lie? This is the future you decided on, Damien. Not me.’

A weight settled in my heart, thick and viscous. ‘You don’t want to live forever, Stella.’

‘I don’t.’

I almost choked. I’d been expecting a fight. An argument. Not agreement. ‘Then what’s the fucking attitude for?’

Stella’s smile dropped completely, and when she finally met my gaze once more, there was something soft in her eyes. Vulnerable. Breakable, like your mother’s best china you kept on the shelf. ‘I don’t want to live forever. I want you.’

My breath caught in my throat, choking me with words I wanted to say. Had wanted to say, for what felt like an eternity. She didn’t know what she was saying. ‘That’s dangerous, Bambi.’

Could she mean it? Could she really want me, scars and all? I wasn’t sure if she could look past the monster, so carefully tucked away behind a few scraps of fabric. She couldn’t. Not after today.

‘I know,’ she whispered. Her eyes were filled with a world of emotions I wanted to separate one by one, taking my time with each as I figured out just how her brain worked.

‘You shouldn’t say things like that.’ Because they mean too much, those words, coming from your mouth.

‘I know.’ Softer this time.

‘You shouldn’t even think things like that.’ Because I’m barely holding on, and I’m scared of what will happen if I let myself fall too far.

I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything.

‘I know. But I do. And I am.’ She shuffled up so she was sitting, reaching her hand out to rest on my face. ‘Don’t push me away. Please. I know you feel it, too.’

The intensity of the moment made me want to close my eyes. I never wanted to forget her face at that exact moment. I wanted to tattoo it across the backs of my eyelids. ‘Don’t… don’t look at me like that, Bambi.’

My restraint was slim, stressed from her missing, and finding her, and now laying next to her, with her delicate hand resting on my skin. I pushed my face deeper into her hand, watching the way her pupils grew larger in the dim light of the evening.

‘Like what?’ she murmured.