Page 2 of Realm of the Wicked

‘A hospice. You’re going to need more help soon, and this is a wonderful place, and I think both you and Grace will⁠—’

My heart froze, my hands refusing to turn the next page. I couldn’t.

‘Thank you, but no.’ I handed the brochure back to the doctor. ‘I think I have it under control.’

‘Stella…’ Grace whispered. ‘Stella, maybe it’s time…’

Wide-eyed, I whipped my head toward Grace. ‘No. Don’t you start. We’ve come this far. We’re not about to quit now.’

Even though she looked to be on the verge of tears, Grace nodded. The last eighteen months had taken a toll on her body, leaving her pale and frail, almost translucent in the harsh fluorescent lighting. I knew she was tired. We both were. She just needed to hang on a little bit longer.

She trusted me. For the last ten years, it’d just been her and me. I hadn’t led her astray yet, and I wasn’t about to start now.

‘Please,’ I begged the doctor. ‘There has to be something else worth a shot. Even if it’s the smallest of chances. Don’t count her out yet.’

Please, don’t count her out yet. I wasn’t ready to be alone on this earth. Anything I’d still been clinging to would certainly fade away then.

Dr Murphy pursed her lips. ‘I’m sorry, Stella. I really think hospice is your best bet at this point. It will allow both you and Grace to gain some closure and peace, without all of the added stresses. You’ve both been through so much.’

The thin faultline along my heart shattered an inch more. I clung to whatever I had left. ‘Please. I… I…’

The words wouldn’t come, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to go back in time, far back before any of this happened, back before my parents died. As if I could somehow warn us all of the tragedies ahead. But wishing and hoping didn’t help either of us. This was our reality, and the only choice I had left was to make the best of it.

‘How long?’ I whispered, trying to stop my voice from cracking. Strong. I needed to be strong for Grace.

Dr Murphy looked at Grace, who nodded in the corner of my eye. ‘Six months. Maybe a year if we’re lucky.’

There it was. A set length of time. Months. I had mere months left with my baby sister, my best friend, my person. I tried to focus, even as a knife twisted in my lungs, making it harder to breathe. Why were all hospitals so cold?

Grace needs you.

I grabbed her hands, facing my beautiful sister, as if I could memorize every inch of her perfect face in this sterile hospital room. ‘I’ll do whatever you want to do.’

A tiny tear lingered on her eyelashes, unable to fall, as Grace struggled to maintain her composure.

As hard as it was, at some point, I needed to accept it wasn’t my decision. So I’d give her the reins. If she wanted me to fight, I’d fight until my last breath. If she was ready, I’d do my best to make my peace with that.

She didn’t look away from me as she asked her question, quietly, as if speaking it any louder made it too real. ‘Does it have to be right now?’

I smiled, my feeble mask threatening to crack at any point. ‘Of course not.’ I faced the doctor, daring her to say otherwise. ‘Right?’

But she only offered me a quiet smile. ‘No.’ She looked down at the file in her hands. ‘We have Grace scheduled for follow-up scans in two weeks. I think we should keep those scans, and then make our decisions based on that. If the scans come back worse than the most recent, hospice will be better sooner rather than later. If they’re stable, I’d feel comfortable with her at home for a bit longer.’

The tear finally fell from Grace’s eye, and I swiped it away with my thumb. My own tears were building, but I wouldn’t allow them to fall until I was alone. ‘It’s okay. That means we still have time, right?’

‘I’m sorry I don’t have better news for you.’ Dr Murphy rose to her feet, moving toward the door. ‘I truly wish there was something I could do. I’m not sure you two know how lucky you are to have each other. Please, don’t rush. Take your time leaving.’

With those words, she left us alone, and the sudden weight of the appointment slammed into both of us. Grace looked ready to shatter into a million pieces, and I pulled her to her feet before she could. My arms would keep her whole.

‘Not here, Gracie. Come on. Let’s get you home, and I’ll get you tacos on the way. My treat.’

I tucked my sister under my arm, and she sniffled. ‘It’s always your treat, Stella. I don’t have a job any more.’

My laugh startled a passing nurse as we walked into the hallway. ‘You don’t? You’re telling me you’ve been freeloading off me this whole time? I can’t believe it!’

She shook her head with a quiet laugh. ‘I don’t know how you can still make me laugh, even when I feel like my world is breaking down.’

Because I’ve hidden those feelings so deep, you’d never be able to find them. Because you deserve to be happy. Because I know if I show any weakness, I’ll break completely.