Page 40 of Welcome to Seaman’s Cove: Part Two

“It’s not. Meet me back here after the morning meal, while the queen will be preoccupied with her daily meetings, and I’ll introduce you to my mates.”

Before she can argue, I swim off, past the stunned looking guards, toward my mother’s chambers. Gods, I hope this is the right move.

28

After Caspian left, we all got dressed and tried to assess our options. It was a bleak conversation. I’ve spent enough time in the ocean now to know that my tolerance for Caspian’s world has somehow improved, but that doesn’t mean I can swim miles in the open sea to find the ship. The rest of my men definitely can’t.

For now, we’re as trapped here as I ever was, but at least we’re together. I can’t stop touching them, and they seem to be equally desperate for my proximity, too. All except Sebastian. He’s stayed a few feet away. Always just out of reach. I wish I knew what was going on in his head.

Eventually, Hunter and Phoenix doze off, their backs pressed against the overhang, shoulders touching, heads slumped against each other. Careful not to wake them, I ease out of Hunter’s lap and make my way over to where Sebastian is sitting with his feet in the water.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

He startles, as if he were so lost in thought he didn’t hear me coming. “Yeah, fine.” His voice comes out scratchy, and he clears his throat. His gaze softens. “I’m okay, ocean. Really. Just a lot on my mind.”

“Was it too much for you?” I sit down next to him, but keep some distance between us. “The heat spike, I mean?”

He looks at me out of the corner of his eye and then looks away. “It was…”

Rejection instantly washes over me. I hold my breath, afraid of all the things he might say. That he didn’t want to go through a spike with me, but he was forced to. That he’ll never want me in that way.

He shifts his weight, hands landing in his lap. “It was an experience I’ll never forget.”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

He finally meets my gaze. “In the best way.”

A relieved sigh stutters out of my chest. I lean back on my hands and look up at the darkening sky, the first stars appearing overhead. The dark ocean stretches out as far as I can see, no sight of Sebastian’s ship anywhere.

“Bet you never thought you’d be here, huh? Imprisoned by merfolk.” I add the last bit, a touch of dark humor, to try to lighten the mood. Seb seems like he needs it. And despite his reassurances, I’m still feeling apprehensive about our physical relationship, and don’t want to linger on the topic too long.

His laugh is so deep and familiar, I can’t stop myself from leaning closer. My shoulder brushes against his, and he looks down at the spot where we touch.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be, ocean.”

“Really?” Insecurities clog my throat. The empty place next to my other bonds aches like a dull bruise.

“Absolutely. These aren’t necessarily the circumstances I hoped we’d meet under, but I’ve wanted to sit like this with you so many times.”

“Why didn’t—?” I cut myself off before I can ask why he didn’t say yes when I asked to meet up, when I invited him to help me through my last full heat.

He seems to understand, though, because he leans back on his hands and sighs at the sky. “My past makes me… hesitant about heats, and packs, and bonding. I’m trying to work through it.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Losing you.” He glances back at Hunter and Phoenix. “Losing all of you.”

I won’t be cliché and tell him something stupid like it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But I want to say something. He’s meant to be part of what we’re building. I feel it in every fiber of my being, and I don’t want him to miss out because of fear.

We sit silently for a few minutes, waves lapping at our feet, the wind crisp and cooling. There’s enough light from the full moon to see by, but the darkness, and the expanse of the sea, makes it feel like there’s no one else in the world but us.

After a time, unable to come up with anything to say that doesn’t feel trite, I dare to take his hand in mine. He doesn’t pull away.

“Can I… kiss you?” I whisper, nerves making my voice shake.

He leans away, brow furrowed, but his hand tightens around mine.

“We don’t have to,” I hurry to add. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have suggested it.”