Page 118 of Fractured Empire

My stomach churns, and I realize that our son saw far more of her hiding her illness than either of us ever knew.

“Bastian,” I start, swallowing hard. “Are there any more of these?”

Shaking his head, he frowns. “She forgot this one. When you took care of her, she found the rest but not this one.”

She probably forgot it existed, or lost track of how many things she kept hidden as her cognitive decline worsened.

“All right, buddy,” I squeeze his shoulders, sighing slowly. “Thank you for bringing these to me. I’ll take care of them, okay? But Katya doesn’t need them, and she never will. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

“I think we should tell them,” my wife whispers, holding Leo who’s cuddled up to her in bed, looking reassured of her health and content to be in her arms. “It’s early, but I’d never want them to worry when we can alleviate their fears.”

A nod from me is all she needs.

“Bastian, my sweet boy, come here.” She holds an arm out, beckoning him over and he immediately rushes toward it, climbing up into her bed and sitting on her other side. “Your daddy is right, you know? I’m not really sick, at least not in any sort of scary way.”

“You’re not?” he echoes, voice small.

Sitting at the end of the bed, I watch with a bated breath as Katya comforts our boys.

“I’m not,” she confirms, reaching for his small hand to hold it. “I told you I wouldn’t be getting sick on you, didn’t I? I promised I’d be here for you and I meant it.”

“Yeah,” Bastian whispers, looking relieved to hear that she remembers the promise she made.

“I know it’s scary to hear Mommy throwing up and being worried something is wrong, but in this case, Mommy is actually very happy. Do you want to know why?”

“Yes,” Leo chirps, his answer bordering on happy. He calmed down much faster than his brother, taking Katya at her word since his trust has never been broken before. Something tells me that Bastian feels like he has been lied to before, by Cleo. Or at least like he can’t trust illness of any kind to be around his mother now that he’s been hurt.

“Well, I’m happy because there’s a very very tiny baby growing in my tummy. That’s why I got a funny feeling and needed to throw up to make it better. Sometimes when mommies grow new babies, the babies roll around inside and make things a little bit messy. Do you understand?”

Leo’s eyes go comically wide, and Bastian looks down at Katya’s flat stomach in disbelief.

“There a baby in there?” Leo shrieks, pulling her blanket back some more so he can see more of her shirt-covered stomach. “But I just kiss it! Did he feel it?”

Katya giggles at his childish innocence and tickles his chin. “He or she might have felt it, but they’re very very little right now. They have months to grow and get bigger so they can come out and meet their brothers.”

Gasping, Leo presses a soft hand to her stomach. “We brothers?”

“Of course,” Katya says confidently. “You and Bastian will be the best big brothers ever, won’t you?”

“We will!” Leo declares, hands on his hips. “Right, Bastian?”

My oldest son blinks, looking at Katya and then to me. “Is it safe?”

“Growing babies can be complicated,” I tell him, refusing to lie straight to his face. “There may be days where Mommy’s tummy is more upset than others, or times where she’s very tired or sore. Her stomach is going to grow as the baby gets bigger, but the doctor says Mommy is very healthy so she’ll be safe as can be, buddy.”

“Like Aunt Jaja and my Rain-uhh,” Leo realizes, eyes lighting up. “Big like their tummies?”

Katya giggles and widens her eyes at Leo calling his aunts big.

“Just like that,” I tell him, hoping the comparison is helpful. “Aunt Rayna was pregnant with baby Vaughn, and Aunt Jade was pregnant with Viktor, remember?”

“Yes.” Bastian seems to finally deflate. “I remember now.”

Now that he’s calmed down from his doomsday panic, at least.

Therapy has always been something I considered for both boys, despite their ages. Perhaps talking to someone might help them address any of their old feelings or fears since losing Cleo, but I don’t know that Bastian would like it very much. He’s bad with strangers, and opening up to one probably wouldn’t be in the cards for him. For now, I’m just going to have to make it clear that he can talk to me and my wife about anything and everything.

Maybe one day, he’ll finally take us up on the offer.