Page 102 of Downforce

“Do you want me to ask questions right now?” my mom asks.

It takes me entirely too long to grasp my mother’s question. When I do, my shoulders slump. My heart fills with love and understanding for my mom. She’s allowing me the gift of talking to her if I need to or keeping this to myself for the time being.

“I don’t know,” I admit. A mix of guilt, love, and the butterflies that still haven’t settled in my belly from waking up in Max’s bed make cohesive thoughts impossible. What I do know is that I don’t have a lot of time to shower and get ready for breakfast before getting my workday started.

“This conversation would take entirely too long and …” I trail off because I don’t want to tell my mother that I’m definitely not ready to discuss this during breakfast.

My mother approaches me, her dark brown eyes searching mine. There was a time I would look away from her gaze. I feared she would see beneath the façade I tried to show the world. That she would see how much of a mess I was or the liar my messed-up brain tried to convince me lurked beneath the surface.

But the years along with therapy, medication, and long conversations about the inner workings of my mind with both of my parents eased those fears.

“You weren’t … this doesn’t have to do with …”

I shake my head. “No, this is not an OCD thing. I swear.”

Her shoulders relax. “Then it’s a boy.”

My eyes widen. “No. It—” I smother the lie before it fully emerges at the look my mom levels on me.

“Oh there you are!” The door opening followed by Chloe’s loud declaration breaks the silence.

Before I can answer, she sweeps me up into a bear hug like I’ve been lost at sea for days.

“You left me all alone last night and I finally had to go over Mom and Dad’s since I didn’t want to be by myself.”

That pit of guilt in my belly opens up even though Chloe doesn’t say this with any sort of accusation.

“Where were you?” She holds me out by my shoulders, examining me like I’m the younger sister.

I shake out of her hold because this is not how it’s supposed to be.

“Working,” I tell her. “Sorry about last night. I’ll make it up to you. But right now I have to shower and get ready for breakfast. You guys haven’t eaten yet, right?”

I look over Chloe, ignoring the raised eyebrow she’s giving me, noting the ripped jeans and oversized band T-shirt she’s wearing—the same outfit from the day before.

“No, I need to shower, too,” Chloe says, still giving me a suspicious look. “Mom?”

“I’m heading back over to meet up with your father and Tristan.” She glances at her watch. “Trav and Alyssia will be over in a half an hour. You girls don’t take too long.”

“We won’t,” Chloe answers for the both of us.

My mom gives me a lingering look before leaving.

“You,” Chloe points at me, “have some ’splaining to do. Work, my ass.”

“What did you just say?”

She folds her arms over her chest. “Don’t try to play Big Sister General with me right now. Where were you last night?” Her eyes slowly pan down my body. “My big sis does not wear the same thing two days in a row.” She gasps. “Oh my god! Is this the walk of shame?”

“What the hell do you know about a walk of shame?”

Chlo’s eyes balloon before she quickly stifles the look. “What? I’m twenty-three. You think I don’t know what a walk of shame is? Come on, sis.”

“What I know is you better never have done one. Your head needs to stay in those books and not on a boy.”

Chloe rolls her eyes and spins, turning to head down the hallway toward the second bedroom.

“Don’t try to walk away from me,” I say, following her while she cackles.