Page 46 of Sheltering You

“Please, do not.”

“How your father felt about you is irrelevant.” Derrick continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “How your mother felt about you doesn’t matter. I wasn’t there, and I can’t… I don’t know anything about that. I know this, though. I care about you very much, and not just because you’re my friend. I have strong feelings for you.”

“You must not.” She tried to pull away, but he held on.

“Just let me say this.”

“You must not!” She tugged again, and he released his hold. “You do not understand.”

“Apparently.” His expression blanked. She didn’t see hurt. Or pain. Or rejection. She saw…nothing.

A mask.

It broke her heart.

“You do not understand.” Her voice cracked.

He faced the blank TV again. “So you said.”

She stood and walked toward the kitchen, needing distance. Because everything inside her wanted to move closer to him. “You are confused.” She was nearly to the table when she turned to face him. “You are here.” She lifted one hand high in the air. “You are this kind of person.”

He squinted. “Tall?”

“No, no.” She shook her head. “Inside, I mean. Your character. Your family. Your…everything. You are this kind.” She jabbed the hand she still held above her head. “You see?”

“No.”

She lowered the hand to her knee. “I am this person. Low, you see?”

“Short, yeah. I noticed.”

She stomped her foot and jabbed her hand again at knee level. “Listen. I am here.” She lifted the hand. “You are here.” She punctuated each statement with a jab of her hand. Keeping it high, she said, “Leila is here. Michael is here. All of you are here. I am”—she lowered the hand again—“here.”

“Jazz, that doesn’t even⁠—”

“You be quiet now. You listen.”

His eyebrows hiked. For a moment, he seemed amused, but it didn’t last. He sat back and crossed his arms. “Go on, then. Explain.”

“You are college. I am not college.” With each explanation, she moved her hand, up and down, hoping he would finally see what she meant. “You are business owner, pilot, professional. I am cleaner. You are from good family. I am from bad family.”

“Leila’s from the same family you are. Why isn’t she⁠—?”

“She is different. She has always been different. Better. She escaped bad family. I only escaped because of her, you see?”

“No.”

Jasmine wanted to scream in frustration. Was he being deliberately dense?

“You do not…what is word!” Her English was getting all jumbled. She was angry and frustrated, and she couldn’t think. She swiped at tears, telling herself to stop her foolish crying. But how could she make herself reject this man?

And how could she not? She had no choice.

“I was with terrorists. I served terrorists. They were evil, and while they planned evil, I cooked, you see?”

She sounded ridiculous. By the time she was done, Derrick was sure to reject her. Which was what she wanted. Exactly what she wanted.

He stood, grabbed a box of tissues off an end table, and held it out to her, his expression filled with tenderness—and confusion.