Page 21 of Cross’s Reckoning

She looks away. I cross the room then, slowly enough that she has time to tell me not to. She doesn't, and I sit beside her, and for a while that's all I do.

Eventually Lola says, "You know what's really pathetic? Part of me still wants him to call back."

"That's not pathetic."

"I'd probably even let him explain."

"Probably."

She turns toward me. "You're being unusually agreeable."

"Don't get used to it."

That earns the smallest breath of laughter, and her shoulder brushes mine. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

"You're going to have to narrow that down."

"About wanting me."

My body remembers exactly what happened less than an hour ago. "Pretty sure I proved that one."

"Not the sex."

I look at her.

She swallows. "Before."

"I was gone on you long before I had any business being gone on you."

Her eyes hold mine.

"I told you. I kept away because you were Cyrus's daughter, not because I thought I was too good for you. And definitely not because I didn't want you."

I glance at her. "You standing with me now is everything I used to think couldn't happen."

Something in her expression softens. I keep going before I can talk myself out of it. "But I don't want you losing your whole life because of me."

Her face closes again. "You still think this is because of you."

"I think I'm part of it."

"You were the first thing I stopped lying to myself about."

That hits somewhere I don't have a name for, and Lola stands. I expect her to start pacing or tell me to get out. Instead she walks to the window and stares across the compound.

"My father made a big mistake."

"Only one?"

She looks over her shoulder at me, and for the first time since the phone call, she looks almost like herself. "He thinks I know nothing."

I straighten. "About what?"

"Perdition."

"Lola—"

"No. Listen. My whole life, men have talked around me because I'm Cyrus's daughter. They shut up when an outsider walks in. They shut up when somebody's old lady walks past. They don't shut up for me because I've always been there."