Page 91 of The Jealous Girl

32

THEN

Early August

Something had changed.

The way we were. Even the way he looked at me. It was different.

Except, it was also familiar.

We’d been here before. Two years ago.

I let out a sigh, leaning back against the kitchen counter as I watched Ryan move around the room, popping bread in the toaster, pouring himself an orange juice, almost as though I wasn’t even there.

On the surface, everything was supposed to be better now. We were back together. Living together. Building something real after everything that had happened.

But it didn’t really feel like that. It felt like I was watching him slip away again.

‘Maybe we could do something at the weekend,’ I suggested, breaking the silence. ‘Go somewhere. Just the two of us.’

Ryan paused, the carton of orange juice poised halfway back into the fridge.

‘I told Dad I’d give him a hand with repairing the back fence.’

Disappointment crashed down on me.

‘Will it take all weekend?’ I was conscious my voice sounded whiny and desperate, but I didn’t care.

‘No, but…’

‘You’ll be too exhausted to go anywhere afterwards.’ Desperation slipped into dejection.

‘You know what it’s like,’ Ryan said with a slight shrug, finally sliding the orange juice into place before closing the fridge door firmly, as though that ended the conversation.

‘I could give you a hand,’ I suggested.

‘At the stables?’ Ryan looked stunned.

It wasn’t ideal. But at least we could spend the day together.

‘It’ll go faster with more hands,’ I reasoned, secretly hoping we might manage to do something on Sunday that way.

‘It’ll be hard work,’ Ryan said cautiously.

‘I know.’

Silence.

‘You’re worried your mum won’t want me there,’ I said flatly.

His family would never accept me.

They never had.

Two Years Ago – Late July

‘Hey, Ryan, have you seen the liveries record book?’ I asked as I poked my head into the kitchen. ‘I’ve turned the office upside down but I can’t find it.’