Page 41 of The Jealous Girl

Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I’d been holding on to the hope of us. And now, after two years, it was all finally within reach. All I had to do was say one little word…

‘Yes.’

Ryan hesitated, looking at me as though trying to decide if I was certain. If I meant it.

‘Yes,’ I said again, ignoring the doubts that reverberated within me. My head might know all the reasons why this was impulsive. Reckless. But my heart didn’t care.

It felt like we were reclaiming something we’d lost. A moment where everything had been perfect. Where the future had been ours.

And, this time, I knew that neither of us would let that slip away.

Ryan surged to his feet, wrapping his arms around me tightly as he lifted my feet off the sand.

I laughed breathlessly as he set me down. ‘We should do it here,’ I said instinctively.

He blinked. ‘What?’

‘Before we leave,’ I added quickly. ‘Let’s not wait. Not this time.’

‘But…’ Ryan hesitated, as though afraid of disappointing me, ‘all the paperwork, the legal stuff, it took weeks last time, and our flight leaves in a few days. I already extended my trip to match yours.’

‘I know.’

‘We could come back…’ he suggested.

I tipped my head as I studied him.

‘We could wait a few weeks. Plan it properly. Do it right. The way it was supposed to be.’

It sounded so reasonable. Sensible. But…

‘It’ll feel like last time,’ I said flatly. ‘Leaving here with everything unfinished. Telling ourselves we’ll come back once things settle. That life won’t get in the way.’

Ryan exhaled slowly. ‘But it did.’

I nodded.

‘We sacrificed what mattered to us and put everyone, everything, else first. Like we could wait,’ he said.

I swallowed. ‘And we lost everything,’ I said quietly.

Silence settled between us.

‘I don’t want to lose this. Not again.’

Ryan shook his head. ‘We won’t, not this time.’

I bit my lip. ‘We could still have a ceremony. Here. Before we leave.’

He frowned slightly. ‘It wouldn’t be real.’

‘It would be to me.’

His expression shifted. ‘To us,’ he corrected.

A lump lodged in my throat.

It would be a commitment. Something I didn’t have last time.