Page 165 of The Jealous Girl

‘I get that,’ Ryan said after a moment. His voice was strained. ‘I hurt you, and it’s going to take time to rebuild from that. But, I promise you, I’ll prove you can trust me again. Just give me a chance. Please.’

His eyes searched mine, full of sincerity and desperation.

My lip trembled, aching to form the one word he needed to hear – the word that would let us start again, rebuild the life we’d once planned.

‘No.’

The calm certainty in my tone surprised me. The word hung between us, still and absolute.

For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel the need to apologise or explain. I didn’t bend to what someone else needed.

It simply was what it was.

My decision.

‘You’re angry, I understand that⁠—’

‘No, I’m not angry any more, Ryan. I don’t even blame you.’ I shook my head. ‘But I can’t live like that again. Waiting for you to decide when and where I fit into your life. How much of you you can share with me, and how much to hold back.’

‘You know everything now.’

‘I discovered it,’ I corrected. ‘You never chose to tell me.’

Ryan blinked. ‘I…’ But whatever objection he’d been about to make withered before it reached his lips.

‘I told you everything about me. And you used it.’ I snorted. ‘You shared it with your family, with Charlotte, and let them weaponise it against me. But it wasn’t just them. You threw my past, my pain, back at me too.’

Ryan’s mouth opened and closed but he didn’t speak. His eyes burned with sorrow and regret. But I wouldn’t carry it for him any more.

56

NOW

September

‘How are you feeling?’ I asked as I slipped into the chair opposite Ben, the hum of the café comforting and familiar now.

Ben touched the back of his head gently. ‘Still got a bit of a lump, but otherwise as good as new.’

I laughed. He never let anything keep him down for long.

‘Have you spoken to Ryan?’ he asked tentatively.

I nodded. ‘He apologised.’

‘And?’

‘He wants us to get back together.’

He took a deep breath and looked down at the table. ‘I figured that would happen.’

‘I said no.’

Ben smiled. ‘That doesn’t surprise me.’

I frowned. I hadn’t been sure what I would do and yet he knew.

‘It certainly surprised Ryan,’ I said.