Page 79 of Between Ghosts and Gods

“Do you remember … killing anyone?”

In the throes of hatred, with the last of her life slipping away, Kasu could not remember exactly who she had cursed. Her mother, certainly, but what about the people who had abandoned her mother? What about the man who was Kasu’s father? The villagers who did nothing to help them?

The cat regarded Kasu with eyes the colour of newly minted gold. “I remember a fire and screams. Flashes of someone’s face. A woman. I know that I killed who I was meant to kill because I felt happy afterwards. I was going to drift away – I felt my body breaking apart – but something kept me clinging on. The next thing I knew, I was in the under-realm.”

Kasu pursed her lips. So perhaps Ruo had only killed her mother. She was not sure whether to feel relieved.

“Ruo, I think … no, I know that I’m the one who created you. When I was a mortal, my mother betrayed me and my sister. Left us to rot. I was so angry I used my dying breath to curse her. When Lady Camellia forced me to drink that elixir, I remembered how I died. I remembered creating you.”

When Kasu thought of her death, there was only shame. She thought of the stupid, weak girl she had been – too naïve to see that her mother’s plan would not work, too meek to object to selling her soul, too feeble to save her sister, too petty to die without trying to drag someone along with her. Ruo might have caused her mother’s death, but Kasu had been the trigger that had set them on that path.

She was the one who had really killed her mother. Her own flesh and blood. Kasu bet no one who reached the heavens had ever cursed their own family. They would never have stooped as low as Kasu had.

Yet in the midst of all the shame and guilt, she could not regret having created Ruo. Kasu could not imagine her life in the under-realm without them.

She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice how quiet Ruo was until she heard the cat’s claws scratch against the wooden chair. When she turned her head, they were staring at her with bright eyes.

“Mama!” the cat chirped.

“Please don’t call me that.”

A wide grin split Ruo’s mouth, revealing rows of sharp teeth. “I knew there was a reason I liked you so much!” Ruo pressed their front paws against Kasu’s thigh and rubbed the top of their head against her cheek.

“You like me?” Kasu braced herself against the furry assault.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

A knot of anxiety and regret loosened inside Kasu’s heart. “I like you too. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

Ruo’s chest gave a deep rumble.

Before they could continue speaking, Arun sauntered up to their end of the table with a plate stacked high with food.

“So,” he said, like he was the one in charge of hosting this extravagant feast, “is this everything you ever hoped and dreamed?”

“It’s fantastic.” Kasu assumed that he was talking about the food, though honestly the same could be said for the southern palace, or for the heavens in general. Everything she had seen so far was wondrous.

“Have you tried everything yet? You should sample as much as you can while you have the chance – the cooks here are almost as good as the ones in my father’s palace. Almost.” Arun grinned at her when Kasu scowled.

Setting down his plate, he plucked a hard, purplish fruit from a bowl on the table and squeezed it between the heels of his palms until it cracked open.

“What’s this?” Kasu asked as he offered it to her.

“Mangosteen. General Shusa is the guardian god of the south. It makes sense that his palace serves southern-grown fruit.”

“I prefer apples.”

Arun nudged her.

Kasu grinned back and took the fruit. Inside were little white segments not unlike a tangerine. When she popped one into her mouth, it burst on her tongue with sweetness.

“Good, isn’t it?” Arun gave her a knowing grin.

Kasu was too enthralled to pretend otherwise. She popped another segment into her mouth, then another and another. Were all southern fruits this good? She had to try them all.

Her gaze travelled across the table, picking out the fruits she did not recognize. When she glanced back at Arun, he was not looking at her any more.

“What’s wrong?”