Page 36 of Between Ghosts and Gods

“So?”

“You think she’s right.”

Kasu gave him a defensive look. Why did he care about what she thought? Would he rather she lied to him? Perhaps, as a prince, he was accustomed to being surrounded by nothing but brown-nosers and yes-men.

She swallowed back her words and felt them burn their way down her throat like lit matchsticks.

“What I or the Pale Lady think about your mother doesn’t matter. It doesn’t stop me from helping you,” she said instead. Calm. Rational. Just like the Heavenly Principles taught her. “I know you want to believe your mother would never do something that goes against the will of the heavens, but people change. Maybe your mother changed too. Putting your blind faith in someone will only disappoint you.” She did not say it to hurt him. It was simply the truth. One had to acknowledge the facts.

Arun snorted. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

Kasu bristled. The matches tickled her gullet. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Arun pinned her with a look so withering Kasu flinched. She didn’t realize that she had retreated a step until the backs of her legs bumped into Ruo’s flank. The cat curled around her protectively.

Pitching his voice high in a mocking imitation, Arun said, “Oh, the heavens say I shouldn’t eat any food that has more than two pinches of salt! The heavens say this! The heavens say that! The heavens are never wrong!”

Kasu’s cheeks flushed. She could hardly hear anything over the rush of blood pounding in her ears.

Anger was a failing. If she was not careful, these tiny infractions would pile up. She could not – would not – allow herself to succumb to the sudden storm raging inside of her.

“I put my faith in the gods. It’s different.” She only just managed to control the venom in her voice.

“You’re right. It is different,” Arun ground out through clenched teeth. “My mother raised me. I’ve known her all my life; I know what kind of person she is. Of course I believe in her innocence. You’ve never even met these gods that you admire so much. You think they’re special because they’re gods, but before they ascended they were just regular humans!”

“They ascended to the heavens because they were special! Because they were good and noble and righteous. Why shouldn’t I trust them?”

The gods were beautiful. The gods were good and gracious. The gods would never find themselves trembling on the verge of tears, screaming at the top of their lungs.

Maintain your voice at an appropriate level at all times, and do not raise it more than is polite.

No, no, she was going about this all wrong.

The Celestial Empress has infinite patience for you. Therefore, you must show infinite patience when dealing with those who have wronged you.

Everything was falling apart. With every second that passed, she felt herself slip further and further from the heavenly ideal.

“Gods pluck humans out of the mortal realm to serve them,” Arun sneered. “If those humans do well or win some kind of fame, they’re promoted to godhood. In the end, most gods are just humans who have won a popularity contest.”

“You—!” Fury surged through Kasu’s chest.

Ruo lunged and sank their teeth into Arun’s ankle.

Kasu stared, aghast, as Arun yelled and tried to shake the cat off. He made for a pathetic picture, hopping mad and red with rage. Blood streamed down his shoe and he tripped and fell into the muddy river, the water soaking his trousers.

“Surprisingly salty.” Ruo licked their lips.

Arun stared at them with baffled offence.

The sight of blood was enough to shock Kasu back to her senses. “Ruo! We had a deal not to eat him!”

“But the human is making you sad, isn’t he? I can tell.” Ruo rubbed their head against Kasu’s side.

“He’s not making me sad. He’s just…” Frustrating. Annoying. Bullheaded. She wanted to prove that she could help him, that she was a different person from the greedy, foolish child who had once sold her soul for a jade pendant. She wanted him to listen to her.

“We can still eat him,” said Ruo. “It’s not too late.”

The smell of fresh bread. Burnt sugar. Kasu placed a hand against her stomach as if it was a beast she needed to hold back.