Page 68 of 10 Things I Hate About Zombies

But as for how …

‘What if the mushrooms didn’t make him sick,’ blurted Nick. ‘What if they turned him into … whatever this is. I mean, you did call them The Last of Us mushrooms at the market, when we first met.’

‘I’m flattered you remember,’ said Zoey. ‘And do I think something is up with your weird orange lightning-struck cordyceps mushrooms? I mean, I could definitely be convinced.’

‘There’s Romero,’ pointed out Nick. ‘And Darina. And Nestor.’

‘Not Nestor,’ corrected Zoey. ‘He’s doing fine now – he came in today, to Sascha’s chagrin. He was just going through something. Besides, plenty of people have drunk the smoothies and been fine. I’m fine! And so are you!’

She was right, Nick supposed. It must be something else.

‘Maybe there’s something viral going around,’ he suggested. ‘A weird Covid variant or something.’

Mrow!

Romero used their distractedness as an opportunity to flee. He bolted through Nick’s legs, racing past Zoey and disappearing into a shady corner of the street just as a UPS van pulled up.

‘Dammit,’ said Zoey, dusting herself off – she’d tried a lunging tackle that had proven unsuccessful. ‘How are cats so wily?’

A reminder on her phone dinged, and she swore.

‘Ugh, I hate it when that happens. The rent’s due, and Winslow hasn’t paid his share.’ Zoey drummed her fingers against her phone, which sported a new Goodnight Moon case. ‘I slid a note under the door the way I usually do, but I guess he didn’t see it. Maybe he was gaming more ardently than usual.’

‘Ardently, huh? Have you been possessed by the spirit of a Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy?’ He waved to the UPS guy as the truck rumbled past. No sign of Romero: they’d have to try again another day.

‘I wish I were possessed of his wealth,’ retorted Zoey. ‘Then I wouldn’t be playing multi-roommate rent Tetris. Give me one second …’ She frantically texted Ainsley, then Joaquin, then Peta. ‘No one’s home.’

She huffed, adorably.

‘Do you mind if we quickly swing past the house to make sure he’s alive and also financially solvent? We can think of it as a combination welfare check and rent-cheque check.’

‘Sure. Just so long as we leave enough time for the art museum after.’

Zoey cocked her head. ‘Oh?’

He loved it when she got quizzical with him.

‘There’s a block-printing exhibit I thought you might like,’ he explained. ‘More than like, actually.’ He knew that the smoothie shop wasn’t her dream – and he hoped a visit to the art museum might inspire her to follow her true passions.

‘It’s not strictly focused on art from children’s literature,’ he added, ‘but I’m sure you’ll spot some familiar pieces. And there’s an interactive exhibit where we can make our own prints.’

Zoey practically squealed. And Zoey was in no way the squealing type.

‘I’m not sure whether that’s a yes or whether that’s the primal scream you use to scare me away,’ said Nick.

‘I’m not sure anything can scare you away, actually,’ said Zoey.

‘Too damn right. I’m the very embodiment of the stoic lumberjack guy. Ken Kesey wrote a whole novel about my people. Although I don’t identify with the strike-breaking bit.’

‘Well good, because crossing a picket line is a deal-breaker.’

‘A passion for labour rights is up there in my top-three attributes, you know. The other two are a passion for tiramisu and a passion for Frog and Toad.’

Zoey gave a proud waggle of her head. ‘Wow, I’m a walking trifecta.’

‘That you are. Now, c’mon, let’s get this rent money and go see some art.’

But the rent-money situation was not to be resolved so easily. Nick followed Zoey into the sharehouse, waiting patiently while she knocked on Winslow’s door in increasingly creative knock-knock patterns. After she’d belted out some Rachmaninov, she drew a deep breath.