Page 42 of 10 Things I Hate About Zombies

Her taste buds exploded in a divine chorus. Little birds tweeted in her brain, like in a Disney cartoon.

‘Damn, I need a fainting couch,’ she admitted, through a mouthful of bread. ‘I might have to talk to Bozo about sourcing some of that for the smoothie shop.’

‘Don’t go hitting your head,’ warned Nick. ‘It’s a bit of a drive to the nearest hospital. Just ask poor Darina.’

‘And my health insurance is terrible,’ added Zoey. ‘Which is my main disincentive against living perilously. Although this honey is good enough that I just might risk it all.’

Nick took the knife and made himself a slice of honeyed bread. ‘You should consider opening a shop this side of the Columbia River – maybe in Vancouver. We’ve got the mushrooms and honey. Plus, no state tax.’

‘Ooh, that sweetens the deal.’ Zoey dabbed a crust in some of the spilled honey, then sank back in her chair, enjoying the warm summer evening. Stars sprinkled the patient dusk, which was still forthcoming – the days were so long this time of year. Cicadas shrilled, lending a tremble to the air. ‘This place is beautiful.’

A look of delight flashed over Nick’s face, as though he’d been waiting for Zoey to see what he saw in the farm. As though he’d brought her here not just for dinner, but to share something with her. Something that was special to him, and which he hoped would be special to her as well.

Zoey felt her cheeks flush, although hopefully the tint of the setting sun hid the worst of it.

‘Do you want to check out the rest of the property while there’s still light?’ asked Nick, stacking their plates and popping the lid back on the honey. ‘There’s a bit at the crest I think you’ll especially like.’

‘Is it where the mushrooms are at their densest?’ guessed Zoey.

‘Sort of. There’s a decent view of where the cordyceps grow wild. Although I think the greenhouse definitely has those numbers beaten.’

The greenhouse had been impressive.

‘We should drive, though. Just so we’re not wandering around in the dark.’

‘Can I? Drive, I mean,’ blurted Zoey. She’d been wanting to get behind the wheel of the old truck ever since she’d first seen it. She rarely got the chance to drive in Portland – which wasn’t so bad, because traffic was criminal two hours either side of peak hour, and between her bicycle and the MAX she could pretty much get anywhere. But Nick’s glossy old truck seemed so right out here.

‘You have a licence, right?’ he called from the kitchen, where he was washing up.

‘I have a fake ID.’ Zoey grabbed a tea towel and started drying off their plates, enjoying how the drifting evening light caught at the sunflower-toned ceramic. ‘I got it when they stopped carding me. I hope they feel guilty each and every time I flash it.’

‘Wow, am I allowed to call you feisty? Because that’s some feisty stuff.’

‘You can call me anything you want. Even Kaila Bowen, which is the name on my fake ID.’

Slinging a tea towel over his shoulder, Nick tossed her the keys, which were weighted by a Swiss army knife, a retro mushroom key charm and a fire-hydrant-shaped tag with the name Lucy stamped into it.

‘Lucy came before Alice,’ said Nick, when he saw Zoey looking at it. (Nonchalantly, as though she weren’t shrieking internally at the fact that she’d actually caught the keys without the slightest fumble.) ‘She was also the best girl. An Aussie cattle dog as well, but red.’

‘Romero is as close as I’ve ever got to a pet,’ Zoey admitted, as they headed back outside.

Although Kit had owned a guinea pig called Frodo. Had he counted as Zoey’s by extension? Not really. She and Kit had never even moved in together, not in a way that counted, anyway. He was always away for work. If you could call your other girlfriend in Colorado work.

‘No pets, ever? You really do walk alone.’ Nick stroked Alice’s head as Zoey started the truck, squeaking slightly as the engine roared to life. Somewhere far off, a coyote added its voice to the sound.

‘It’s not … on purpose,’ she said, as she awkwardly shifted the vehicle into gear. It had been years since she’d driven stick. ‘Things have just worked out that way. People leave. People disappoint you.’

‘Well, I think we know who is the Toad in this relationship,’ Nick said, pointing to the Frog and Toad charm that dangled from the rear-view mirror.

‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ said Zoey haughtily, as she steered the truck slowly away from the house and towards the fields.

‘Well, there’s no Frog without Toad. Imagine a picnic for one.’

A picnic for one sounded delightful, thought Zoey. But a picnic with Nick … actually sounded quite nice as well. Especially if he cooked. And brought some of his explosive honey. And bug spray, because entire clouds of bugs were bursting up from the daisy fields right now. The local bats were feasting.

Nick directed her on a slow loop around the property. Thankfully, because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to successfully shift out of first gear. The truck bumped along, cruising between massive trees and around shrubby thickets. At one point they reached a strange section of underbrush that veritably teemed with orange mushrooms. Rocky formations were angled about them, and the whole area seemed scorched.

‘Wait, those are the ones from my smoothies, right?’ Zoey squinted, turning on the truck’s high beams after some fiddling around trying to figure out which toggle did what.