Page 39 of Second Chance Saloon

Jackie shifted her position, putting her head on his chest.

His arms twined around her, his chin resting on top of her head.

“You can tell me about it. If you want to.” Her low voice reverberated through his chest, lighting up every single nerve ending on its way to his brain.

Mitch cleared his throat. He didn’t like talking about his father, and rarely did. But here, with her, the usual heaviness squeezing his chest whenever he thought about holding on to details of his life let up.

“My father is a judge. He’s always been very … strict. Mom said he wanted a son who’d be an athlete. He was on a baseball team when he was in college, still played at law school. But it was never at a professional level. He liked to tell me that if he hadn’t devoted himself to his academics, he’d have been great.

“When I started swimming and it later turned out I was decent, he became obsessed. He didn’t know much about it beforehand—can barely swim himself—but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, other than pushing me to be better, faster. Always training harder, giving up things I wanted to do because swimming was what I did.

“I got four swimming scholarships. UT was the farthest away,” he finished. Unless the stars had become bleary, his eyes were misting over.

Jackie’s hand pressed right above his heart. “How do you feel about swimming? Take your father out of it and tell me what you think about it.”

“I used to hate it. If you’d have asked me even a couple of years ago, I’d have told you that I couldn’t stand it. The training, everything.”

“And now?”

“Now, it’s grown on me. I think it might grow on me even more. My father isn’t here to watch me like a hawk during training sessions. He won’t be here to tell me I’m a worthless piece of shit if I don’t win a medal.”

Jackie gasped. “He said that to you?”

Mitch chuckled humorlessly. “More than once.”

Her body tensed. She found his other hand and laced her fingers with his. “Fuck it and fuck him. I shouldn’t say that, I know. But that’s no way to speak to your child.”

He let out a sigh. “I take it your parents don’t say things like that?”

“Never,” she replied like she didn’t even have to think about it.

Relief and jealousy mixed into a strange concoction in his gut. Of course, he was happy her parents didn’t put her down the same way Tanner did. But there was also this nagging voice at the back of his mind, one that somehow always found its way back to his subconscious.

Why can’t my father love me for who I am?

Maybe it was time he finally accepted that it was never going to happen. Whatever he did, he’d never be good enough in Tanner’s eyes. Ah, how easy it sounded in theory. In practice, it was a different beast entirely.

“I’ll never say things like that to my children. I’ll always make sure they know they’re loved. I’ll care about their happiness above my own wishes. It really isn’t that hard to grasp,” Jackie said.

Mitch smiled at the sky, his fingers tangled in her black hair. “You want to have kids, then?”

“You don’t?”

“No, I do … I think?” He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “I’ve never really thought about it. But … yeah, I think I do.”

She brought her leg over his thigh and rested it there. “I’d love to have three. Two boys and a girl. Not anytime soon, though. Once I’m a resident. Or something like that.” She laughed and the stars dispersed, unworthy of occupying the same space. “I know we’re so young and it might seem silly, talking about things like that—”

“I don’t think it’s silly. It’s good to imagine a future you want.”

Jackie pushed herself off his chest and sat. Thick strands of her loose hair covered half of her face. She blew at it; when it didn’t budge, she flicked it away with her hand. She looked at Mitch, her eyes scanning his features like she was searching for something.

Her gaze dropped. “I suppose I thought about being a mother more than most girls our age because I never knew my own mother.”

Mitch furrowed his brow. “I thought your parents are together—you said you have a great relationship with your mom?”

Jackie’s eyes flicked back to his. “Sharon’s my mother in every way that matters. She’s the best, I love her and couldn’t imagine a better mom. But she’s not my biological mother.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”