Page 102 of Bone Year

My stomach drops. Malric told him a bunch of exaggerated lies I’m sure.

“Jace, I was in a bad place. Nella had died, and I wasn’t thinking⁠—”

“You weren’t thinking about me.” There’s something amiss with his eyes. The light blue that used to be so warm has gone cold, like ice over a frozen lake. “That’s clear.”

“It wasn’t about you. It wasn’t about anyone. I needed⁠—”

“To feel something?” He scoffed. “Did it work?”

I can’t answer that.

“I would have been there for you, Maelis,” he says. “I would have caught you. All you had to do was fall toward me, not away.”

He looked at me like I was precious once. I’m the one who taught him I wasn’t. “I know, and I’m sorry⁠—”

He holds up a hand. “I don’t want your apology.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want to stop seeing his marks on your neck every time I close my eyes.” He’s not trying to hurt me. That’s what makes it unbearable. “I want to look at you and not feel sick, but I can’t have any of that. So I’ll settle for nothing. I want nothing from you.”

He pulls his arm free of my grip and walks away.

I stand there in the corridor watching him go. That wasn’t Jace, the boy who held my hand and made me laugh and told me he loved me while together in his bed.

Over ten years of friendship cannot be over because of one horrible decision I made in a time of despair. Can it?

The rest of my classes are a blur, and I let out a sigh of relief when I finally make it back to my room.

Nella’s journal is still under my pillow. I pull it out and flip through the pages, looking for something to make me feel less alone.

I find an entry I haven’t read yet.

Draven asked about Maelis today. Tried to be casual about it, like he didn’t care. But his eyes gave him away. He wanted to know if she’d said anything about her father. I told him no. He looked relieved and disappointed at the same time. What does her father have to do with anything?

He’s asked me not to tell Maelis that he visits, saying he’ll get in trouble since I’m not his patient. I don’t know if that’s the real reason. There’s something there he won’t say, but I’ll keep his secret. It’s not my business.

His wolf was here again last night. Draven left hours ago, but the wolf stayed, curled up by the door like he was guarding me. I wasn’t scared. I should have been, probably. I think the wolf knows I’m dying. I think he’s keeping me company until I do.

My chest aches.

Why was Draven visiting Nella so often? Why did he have his wolf stay with her through the night? He comes off as such a cold-hearted bastard, but maybe there’s something softer hidden beneath that icy exterior. Why did he help me the other night? Maybe he feels sorry for the weak little human who can’t seem to keep herself together.

I close the journal and walk over to my desk. I should stay up late tonight and get through all my assigned reading. Midterms are coming, and I’m in no state of mind to be ready. At this rate, I’m going to fail out of Ashwell, and honestly I’m starting to think maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

A knock at my door makes me jump.

It swings open before I can respond, and Lux is standing there in a light-pink sweater practically the same color as her hair, paired with fitted black pants. Her arms are crossed. Ellavee is behind her, leaning against the doorframe in black tights, a short skirt, and a deep purple sweater that contrasts her light-blonde hair. Neither of them is wearing their school uniform.

“You’re coming out with us tonight.”

“I’m not really in the mood for that.”

“I don’t care.” Lux walks over to my wardrobe and starts rifling through it. “You’ve been a ghost all week. Understandable, but you need to snap out of it.” She throws a sage-green sweater at me along with a black knitted beanie. “Put these on. We’re going to the village, getting drinks, and having a good time. You’re coming.”

“Lux—”

“She’s not asking.” Ellavee pushes off the doorframe and settles onto my bed. Poppy immediately abandons me to climb into her lap. Traitor. “It’ll be fun, and it’ll get your mind off things.”