Page 10 of What Lies Beyond the Realms

I do take a few more bites, but I’m suddenly not hungry. I’m feeling all sorts of flushed. I pull my wool socks off and refill my cup then toss myself onto the settee. I sink right into it, and I could fall asleep right here. This couch is perfectly worn to hug my body just right.

“I’m not that hungry anymore. What is it you want to talk to me about?” I remember he said he wanted to speak about tomorrow.

“I have to meet with a few pack leaders tomorrow to finalize plans for the festival. I’ll be gone most of the day. Luke will drop something off to you for breakfast, but you can sleep in and relax. I want you to stay inside and wait for me to return. Don’t go wandering off and getting into trouble. Can you manage?” he asks, coming to sit next to me with his own glass of potato piss.

“Of course I can manage. I’m used to being locked in places.”

“First of all, you are not going to be locked in. I’m asking you for your safety to stay inside and rest until I return. Second, have you really been locked in a castle all your life? I thought those were just rumors.” He sounds surprised.

“It’s not becoming of a princess to wander, and it’s not safe outside the castle boundaries for a girl with no power. Not exactly safe inside either,” I say under my breath, but he doesn’t miss a beat.

“What do you mean that it’s not safe inside either?”

“Nothing . . . just can make you go stir crazy, you know.” I try to brush it off like it's nothing by taking another long drink. “Why did you agree to train me? What’s in it for you?”

“Times are hard for us Lycans, and it can’t hurt having the king and queen owe me a favor.” He winks at me, a devilish smile spreading across his face, but his eyes remain cold, not reflecting the humor of his expression.

Aidan’s lips are surprisingly enticing, and despite the alcohol haze I can’t help but fixate on them. I’ve never experienced a kiss before, and the idea of what he might do if I made the first move is both exciting and nerve-wracking. Would he tell my parents? Would he still continue to train me? The last few nights with him have been far from innocent, and the alcohol is making my inhibitions vanish. No wonder my parents keep the wine flowing at their dinner parties. I already feel a weird sense of confidence that wasn’t there before.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been taught to keep my head down and stay out of the way. Being passive and stoic has been my go-to for avoiding trouble, even if it means bottling up my emotions. The outside world might see me as calm and collected, but inside, I can be a screaming mess sometimes.

I was a bit of a wild child when I was little. My dad used to call me his little pixie. He said it meant cheerful and mischievous. The castle was a different place before he passed away. He brought warmth and light to our home, and his death felt like the sun had disappeared from our lives. Now, my mother and Silas seem to thrive in the cold emptiness that remains. I deeply miss him and often wonder what my life would be like if he was still here with us. I imagine traveling the world with him. He always encouraged me to feed the fire in my soul, the fire Samael has been slowly stifling out. Sometimes I don’t know what happened to that girl, the girl with spirit, the dreamer with fire in her soul. Now I feel more like a domesticated horse letting people ride all over me.

“Aidan, can I ask you something?” I turn toward him and take the last swig from my glass then place it on the ground.

“I can already tell this is going to be good by the color of your cheeks. Yes, please ask me anything.” He moves to face me, chuckling a bit.

“My cheeks are red from the alcohol and the fire in front of us, nothing more . . . just forget it.” I’m already losing my nerve, and anger is heating my face too.

“Oh, relax, Cheeks. I must hear what’s making you blush. Please tell me. I won’t laugh.” He looks at me now in all seriousness.

I lock eyes with him, and my insides feel like they’re in disarray. Should I say it? What if I mess up my words and sound like a fool? I take a deep breath and gather my courage.

“I don’t want to go my entire life without knowing what it feels like,” I say, my voice shaking. “I’ve waited eighteen years, and I don’t know when I’ll have another chance like this. Aidan, would you…would you kiss me?” The silence that follows feels like an eternity, and I quickly try to clarify. “I mean, now. Please kiss me now.”

He’s staring into my eyes without a smile on his face. I’m ready to laugh it off and say I’m just kidding, but then he lifts his hand to my cheek and presses his lips against mine. My mind goes blank, and my body responds. His kiss is rough and not what I expected, but it feels good. His hands grip my face tightly, deepening the kiss with his tongue. I’m hesitant at first, but I open to him, and our tongues dance in a sensual rhythm. Just when I think it's over, he pulls back, his eyes locked on mine, holding my face in his hands. I can feel my lips tingling, and the taste of alcohol lingers on my tongue.

“You’re going to be trouble, Cheeks,” he says with a devilish smirk on his face.

I get up and refill my glass, then sink into the cushions and watch the fire. I can’t help but think that life is short and I don’t want to waste it. The life of a Sorceress isn’t nearly as long as other beings. I will age much quicker than any Lycan or Lamia or Faery. I’ll be lucky if I live into my eighties, and even then I’ll be old and frail.

Growing up in Tempest Moon, I was trapped in a life I didn’t choose. My dad’s death left me alone with a mother who was distant and indifferent, more concerned with appearances than my well-being. She married Silas, and suddenly I had a stepbrother, Samael, who made my life a living hell. Silas wasn’t cruel to me, but his strictness was suffocating. I was forbidden from leaving the castle grounds, speaking to visitors, or attending meals with everyone else. I was isolated, with only my teachers, Samael, and sometimes his friends as company. It was a bleak existence, and if it weren’t for Chepi I’d have no one to talk to. Lili was around, but her loyalty was to my parents, and I couldn’t always trust her with my secrets. I often wondered if my mother knew about Samael’s abuse. Seeing him strike her the other day filled me with dread; what if he hurt her too and she just turned a blind eye? The thought is unbearable.

As I feel the warmth of the alcohol spread through my body, I feel an urge to just let go and live life to its fullest. I am young and healthy, and I feel confident in my appearance, but I have been denied a life of my own for far too long. I want to experience everything that life has to offer. I want to explore all the realms, try different types of food, and learn to ride a horse. Most of all, I want to love and be loved by someone who sees me for who I am. I want to feed the fire in my soul, to feel and experience everything that I can while I am still young and full of life.

I know Aidan would never love me. He looks at me like I’m something he wants to play with, own even, but not love. But tonight I’m not looking for love, and I’m not saving my virginity for some prince charming, because the only prince I know is abhorrent. Aidan isn’t evil. He may not care for me, but I don’t think he’d want to hurt me. I also think sleeping with him could be a good time, and my parents would be furious if they found out. All the more reason to do it.

“Are you ready for bed? Looks like you're about to fall asleep over there.” Aidan nudges me with his elbow. I take another sip from my glass.

“Yes, I am.” I pull myself up off the couch and head to the bedroom.

Aidan follows me to the bedroom. He doesn’t know it yet, but I don’t plan to sleep just yet. I walk toward the bed then turn around to look at him. Instead of crawling beneath the blankets, I grab the bottom of my nightgown and pull it up over my head, then drop it on the ground, letting it pool near my feet. I’m completely naked now, and it may be dark out but the candles in here leave nothing to the imagination. My gaze meets his, and it’s like starring into icy fire, burning with a fierce blue intensity.

“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice sounding a little hoarse.

This alcohol stuff is great because I’m not losing my nerve at all. I feel confident. I’m not going to shy away from his eyes. I want him to look at me. I want to be seen, and I want to know what it feels like to be wanted.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” I smile sweetly at him and bite my bottom lip.