Page 94 of Shattered Pieces

“You still love him?”

“I can’t.”

“But you do,” he said with a light huff. “That sucks. He’s a piece of shit.” We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again, his voice soft. “That’s why you’re so fucked up about Rory? You think she played you too?”

“I’m not doing that shit again, Luke. I’ll fucking kill her if she makes me out to be a joke,” I warned, ignoring the knock on the door. Lukas stood to check, and I glanced over to find Hunter there.

“We’re going. Just wanted you to know,” he mumbled, and it was like he knew. Marco probably told him what had just happened, he never knew how to keep his damn mouth shut.

I nodded once and he thankfully got the hint that I wasn’t in a talking mood and left.

Lukas opened his window and motioned for me to join him, making me snort.

“I’m not so sad I feel the need to jump,” I said dryly, and he rolled his eyes.

“Me either. If you want to smoke, do it by the window.”

I stood and walked over, accepting a cigarette from him as I sat on the window ledge.

“He can really take a cock,” Lukas said lightly, a bark of laughter leaving me at the unexpected comment.

“He could probably give you some pointers.”

“Hey, I’m getting better at it. Did you ever⁠—”

“So glad you got over your fear of dick and uncomfortable conversations,” I deadpanned, blowing smoke out the window. “Yes, I’ve sucked dick.”

“Are you a top?” he asked, earning a dirty look from me.

“What’s with the twenty questions? We’re not bonding over this.”

“We totally are. C’mon, what are you? I could picture Marco being either, but you’ve got major top energy,” he shrugged, and I scowled.

“Eighty percent of the time, yes. Sometimes, we switched though.”

“Didn’t see that coming,” he mumbled, staring out the window. “What was your first time with a guy like?”

This was getting way too personal, but I had a feeling he was just searching for answers to his own problems.

“Look,” I sighed, eyeing him. “You’re overthinking the entire thing. Go with the flow, do what you want, and if you don’t want to continue something, then stop. Take your time, use lube, and even get a fucking safe word if it helps you. Marco was my first and only guy, he’s openly into guys and girls, but I’m only into girls and him. Kind of like you and Jensen. I’m not used to being open about it, not because I’m ashamed of what we had, but because I had to learn to keep it a secret for so long. You know how you can just get into bed with a girl and it just feels right? It’s just like that. My first experience with Marco wasn’t planned or discussed, we just did it.”

“Was it good?”

I chuckled, remembering it easily. “The first time? No. It was awkward, we didn’t know what to do. The second and third time got better though. Like I said, use lots of lube and take your time. That’s half the problem when you’re figuring it out.”

“I freeze up when we go too far. It’s stupid,” he grumbled, looking embarrassed.

“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, that’s why. Either take charge and roll with it, or let Jensen lead.”

“Hey, Skeet? Thanks. I know you hate getting personal,” he said awkwardly, and I raised an eyebrow.

“But you’ll keep coming back to me with questions now, won’t you? Just fuck him. It’s not hard.”

I felt a little better after talking to him, not realizing my own issues had faded while I’d focused on his.

“Probably. I’m sorry you couldn’t be yourself around your crew,” he said quietly, both of us finishing our cigarettes in silence after that. I was worried he’d keep going about the subject, but once we were back in the middle of the party, he walked off to join Jensen, leaving me to wander back to Caden.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN