Page 96 of The Monster and the Masochist

Of course she wasn’t.

I knew better.

And I was so pissed with myself for daring to think I might actually get a happy ending.

I’d been an idiot for believing I ever would.

My ending would be bloody and violent, and my family probably wouldn’t even be in the stands cheering me on when I went down.

I would die like I lived.

Broken and alone.

Sitting with my back to Cassandra on my borrowed bed, I crushed my eyes shut as I waited for her to leave.

Maybe I should just move back out and call this whole thing off.

My anger was quickly turning to that bone-crushing, deep sadness that always loomed just out of reach, and my throat burned with tears.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t, fucking, cry, Theo…

I jumped as strong fingers curled under my chin, and my eyes flew open to find Cassandra standing before me, her face a terrifying blank mask of white fury.

That strange look was in her eyes again… I’d only seen it a few times before, but whenever she looked like this, I felt like I was looking into the eyes of a predator.

A literal wild animal that would rip the throat out of anything that crossed its path.

All the tiny hairs on my neck stood on end, warning me that I was in some sort of danger, but I ignored the spark of fear that exploded through my chest.

I was so done with this shit.

“I told you to get out,” I deadpanned, and her fingers tightened around my jaw, her lip curling into a tiny snarl.

“No,” she growled, her voice low and dangerous.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

“No?”

“That’s right. I said no. Not until you listen to what I have to say.”

I rolled my eyes and jerked my chin out of her grip. Tossing my hands out in exasperation, I stood up, forcing her to back away.

“I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say, Cass. I’ve been clear how I feel about you from day one, and jokes on me, I guess, because you’ve been pretty clear with me too. I can’t even be mad at you. I knew this was all a bullshit game to you. I knew it was fake. I’m very fucking aware that I’m just here for show. Alright?”

“Theodora.” My name was a warning this time, not a plea, but I couldn’t seem to stop. Now that I’d started, all the hurt, anger, and pain were bubbling up, and I couldn’t seem to shut up.

“I’m not calling anything off. You’ll still get your precious promotion. All I’m saying is I don’t want to have to fake fuck you, too. Stop using me to get off if you’re just going to turn around and bend over for some fucking man the second I leave the house.”

The air turned to ice between us, and I realized I’d made a mistake a moment too late.

I wasn’t prepared for the sharp sting that erupted across the side of my face, but the second I registered the feeling as pain, my nervous system crashed out, and my brain stopped working.

My head whipped to the side with the force of the slap, and I was still fighting the explosion of dopamine that pain always seemed to trigger for me, when I found myself slammed against the wall with Cassandra’s hand wrapped around my throat.

I groaned unintentionally as she pressed down on my windpipe, restricting my air flow just enough that it put me into a minor level of sub state.

Cursing, I fought against my fucked up brain’s need to submit to this clearly insane woman, for no other reason than she’d just hurt me in a way I so desperately craved.