Page 92 of The Monster and the Masochist

If this man wasn’t careful, he was going to end up bleeding out on my kitchen floor. There were no witnesses here this time.

The slight panic I felt over the fact that I might really lose control over the evil creature living inside me was the only thing keeping me from actively seeking out a weapon.

“You called Theo a dyke.” The words left my mouth in a cold whisper, and I could feel the human parts of me slip away as my monster slowly took over.

As much as I feared what my monster would do if I ever let it fully take the wheel, sometimes I was grateful for it.

It protected me from the pain and the anger that ruled my life.

When my monster was driving, Cassandra could hide safely behind it, and no one could hurt her.

Nolan was searching my face, and I knew he could tell I was slipping into a dangerous mental space. He looked scared and confused. Almost frantic.

He reached for me again, and I literally bared my teeth at him, shoving a finger into his chest in an effort to push him back.

“Don’t.”

“Cass, I’m not a homophobe, Jesus Christ. My cousin is gay!”

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?” I growled, fighting tooth and nail to keep myself under control.

‘Kill him,’ my monster purred, and I mentally shook my head.

‘No.’

‘Come on. It would be so easy. Vox would help you hide the body if you asked. You could cremate him at Fairview. No one would ever find out.’

‘Shut up,’ I snapped back, but my beast just chuckled softly, curling its talons deeper into my heart.

Shaking off my internal battle, I tried to focus on the fact that the idiot in front of me seemed to be speaking again.

“Look, I shouldn’t have said that. I already apologized. I didn’t mean it. I was… I don’t know. You two were staring at each other all night. I think I felt threatened or something. You were looking at her like… Cass, do you know how hard I’ve been trying to get you to look at me like that?”

Even the pacing beast in my chest seemed to be surprised at this revelation.

What?

“What the fuck are you talking about, Nolan? You and I were just hooking up. It didn’t mean anything.”

“It meant something to me,” he said quietly, and suddenly I was less angry and more just… really fucking confused.

“What are you talking about? I know for a fact that you were screwing half the junior team while we were involved.”

They all made sure I knew it, too.

Like it was something they could rub in my face.

Like I cared who Nolan screwed.

“Well, I didn’t think you would want to be exclusive with me. But… if you asked me to be, I would… Be exclusive with you, I mean.”

I searched his face in disbelief.

What the actual fuck was happening right now?

This was the last thing I expected when he asked to come up here.

I was so shocked that I was speechless, which was insane for me. I was never speechless.