Page 52 of The Monster and the Masochist

But she was.

Tucking my hand back into my lap so I wouldn’t give in to the urge to literally pinch her cheeks like I was an Italian Nonna, I bit my lip.

“You said you wanted to talk?”

Theo nodded. She took a sip of her water before placing her glass next to mine on the coffee table and turning to face me.

“Yeah. I have some questions.”

“Okay.”

She frowned, then pinched the bridge of her nose, before letting out an exasperated puff of air.

“I don’t know how I keep ending up having these conversations with people… but it’s way harder without tequila,” she muttered. Her voice was so quiet I wasn’t even sure I was meant to hear it.

“Uhm. I have tequila if you want some.”

She dropped her hand to her lap and pinned me with a glare.

“No, I’m fine. It’s just… awkward, and I’m not good at shit like this. I had a similar conversation with Ryan a while back… but, I got him kinda drunk first.” She smirked, and I cocked my head to the side, confused.

“What conversation?”

“Alright. I’m just going to say it.”

“Thank fuck, I don’t think I can take anymore anticipation.”

Theo’s lip twitched, but then she grew serious again. She reached out to place a hand over mine, and my entire body reacted to the warm feeling of her squeezing my fingers gently.

“Cassandra… Are you queer?”

I blinked at her as the words settled between us.

“Uh…” I said eloquently.

Theo didn’t push me; she just waited patiently, watching me with an intensity that made me shift slightly in my seat.

“I… I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it.”

Theo sighed.

“Cassandra, you’re asking me to marry you.”

“Fake marry me.”

Theo rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Whether it’s fake or not, the world will perceive it as real. The world will label you as queer. I don’t think you’ve really considered what that entails and how it could affect your life.”

I blinked again, feeling completely taken aback.

This was the last thing I’d assumed Theo would have been worried about. I honestly hadn’t considered what the world would think about me marrying a woman, which I suppose just went to show how much I gave a fuck what other people thought about me. But… the fact that Theo cared more about how this marriage would impact me than about how it would impact her was incredibly touching.

My chest felt tight, and I found myself softening, probably more than I ever had for anyone in my life.

“I don’t care what people think about me, Theodora,” I said quietly. My hand reached for her again, and I found myself cupping the side of her face affectionately, loving the way such a simple touch caused those dark eyes of hers to widen.

Gently, she pulled my hand away from her face and cradled it in her lap.