Page 207 of The Monster and the Masochist

I could literally feel her clit pulse as she came on my tongue, and I continued to massage it gently until she slowly started to come down.

I didn’t stop until she gave me her first overstimulated twitch. Only then did I allow myself to release her from my mouth, and I crawled over her so I could catch her lips in mine.

She groaned as I slid my tongue against hers, letting her taste herself on me as she basked in the aftermath of her orgasm.

“Feel good, baby?” I asked between kisses, and she nodded, wrapping her hands around my waist and tugging me more firmly against her.

“Yeah. Fuck… I’ve never… I’ve never let anyone do that to me before. Jesus, I’ve been missing out…” She quivered beneath me, and I smiled.

“Well, I’m glad I got to be your first. Now I won’t need to kill anyone for tasting what’s mine.”

I’d meant it as a joke, but my words caused Theo to fall still beneath me, and I frowned, pulling back to study her face.

“Everything okay?” I asked. She bit her lip, and I hated how worried she looked.

“Yeah, I’m just… I’m sorry that I can’t… I can’t give you more.”

“Oh, sweet girl.” I cupped her cheek and kissed her gently on the forehead. “I don’t need anything more than what you feel ready to give me.”

“But what if I… What if I can never let you… Are you going to be okay with that?”

I braced myself on my elbows over her so she could see how serious I was about this.

“If you never want to be penetrated, it won’t change anything for me. What we have is bigger than just sex. If you didn’t want me to touch you at all, I would still want you. We would figure it out.”

Theo’s eyes welled with tears, and she nodded, giving me a small, shaky smile.

“You sure you’re not mad about it?”

I frowned.

“I didn’t say that. Of course I’m mad about it. But I’m not mad at you. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you at all. But I’m furious that someone took that away from you. I hate the man who hurt you, and I’ll hate him until the day I die. But that’s on him, not you, and I refuse to let him hurt us more than he already has.”

Theo stared at me for a long moment, and I watched her throat roll as she internally fought the shame I knew she felt over something that wasn’t on her to feel any shame over in the first place.

The heady lust that had consumed me gave way to the familiar burn of rage that ate me alive every time she got that soft, vulnerable look on her face.

It was a look I knew now was a direct result of her trauma, and I wanted nothing more than to wipe that look away forever.

“You… You know him,” she whispered, and the smoldering pit of rage in my gut turned to ice.

“I do?” I asked carefully, staying as still as I could, worried that if I made any sudden movements, she might lose her nerve.

“Yeah…” She choked on the word, and I hung there, frozen and barely breathing as I waited for her to finally tell me who it was. “It’s why… It’s why I was so afraid to tell you. I thought… I thought you might pick him… over me.”

“What?” I sat up abruptly, the sting of her words shredding through the thin thread of control I’d been clinging to.

Theo followed me up until I was straddling her hips. She rested her hands on my thighs and traced her thumbs in small, gentle circles against my skin.

“Y-yeah. I’m sorry. It was before I knew you loved me, and you’d literally married me over him, so I figured if it came down to him or me, you’d pick him, and I… I didn’t think I would survive it if that happened.”

My mind was racing, and I was breathing so hard I felt dizzy.

Then, it was like the missing piece of the puzzle slipped into place, and my brain exploded.

When she disappeared at Chez, the reverend had been there… She’d seen him, and then she’d bolted.

The pasta bowl incident… The reporter had been talking about the case, and that was when she’d first realized I was defending him…