Page 58 of Want You

Autumn

I called two male associates twat waffles today.

Nathan stared at the text, it had been a week since he’d heard from Octavia and seeing her name was the best thing he’d seen since the team had been gone.

I have no doubt they deserved it.

I’m so mad, Nathan. I’m so fucking angry.

I know and I wish I could make it better. I wish I could go back and change all of this.

He leaned back and rubbed a hand down his face. Would his talent have saved him from being ostracized if he had taken a stand earlier in his career? Toe the line, stay the course…keep quiet while innocent people get hurt.

Nathan wondered if there was anything he could actually do to make up for his complicity.

You’re not a fucking victim, he chastised himself. You’re a collaborator.

Can I come over?

You never have to ask.

Three dots appeared and disappeared several times and after ten minutes, stopped completely.

This was not the start he had anticipated for the All-Star break. They were supposed to be driving up to cottage country tomorrow to stay at his agent’s place, and the realtor had scheduled a couple viewings for the following day. He’d been planning his future with Octavia while she was probably planning a way to end it, and he couldn’t even blame her.

Maybe it was better to stay home anyway. With Scottie moving in, being around to help out would be ideal. Their mom and sister were helping, but they wouldn’t be upset with an extra set of hands.

If he stayed home perhaps Scottie could help with something for the case. He was good with computers, he could probably hack into Connors's phone or something. Find some evidence. However, maybe handling one illegal thing with another wasn’t the best idea. He’d hate to see his brother get in trouble because he was out of ways to make things better.

He was dragged out of his thoughts when his front door opened and the sound of something heavy thumped to the floor. He sat up quickly and peered over the back of the couch in time to see Octavia pulling off her boots, her face scrunched in concentration, or perhaps confusion, as she dropped them to the ground.

“Hey,” he said, walking over to meet her.

She stood straight, her expression more relaxed but still serious as she took him in. “I didn’t know if the trip was still on but…” She gestured at her bag on the floor and shrugged.

Nathan was caught off guard by the fact she still wanted to go, or was even willing to go.

“If you want it to be. I didn’t…I didn’t know if you’d still want to get out of the city.” With me was implied.

Octavia sighed and leaned back against the door. “I think it would be good to get away. I can’t be in that office for another second. Any chance we could leave first thing tomorrow?” She looked up at him through thick lashes. “Please?” she whispered and all he could do was nod.

Nathan had witnessed several versions of Octavia. Had seen her tired from work, in pain during her period, excited about a new movie, euphoric having a sip of wine, loose and satiated after an orgasm. Tonight, she looked drained. Dark shadows under her eyes, her hair thrown back in a basic ponytail, her suit less styled than usual. He had been falling in love with every version of her, but this one hurt. It hurt because he knew he played a role in her exhaustion and he hated himself for it.

There wasn’t a handbook for this. No amount of training could prepare him to deal with the aftermath of what had gone down this week. Being there for her, being honest when she asked him to be, that’s about all he could do.

Octavia pushed off the door and stumbled forward, right into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and they stood there quietly until Nathan’s stomach grumbled and her shoulders bounced with hushed laughter.

She tipped her head back and his heart stuttered when the corners of her lips tipped up. It wasn’t the brilliant smile he’d gotten used to seeing when she looked at him, but she looked a bit more like herself.

“Wanna order some food and watch something stupid?” he asked.

Tears filled Octavia’s eyes and he felt his blood cool. “Yes, please,” she choked out. “But it has to be really stupid. I need to give my brain a break.”

“Done.”

What Nathan had not considered when going to a cottage in February was the amount of snow they got a little farther north. The reality of which came rushing in as he navigated the narrow laneway from the main road to his agent’s cottage, knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel.

“This is…precarious.” Octavia winced, her eyes glued to the treeline out the passenger window. “Good thing you rented this beast.” She knocked on the dash of the Subaru Outback.